I have been on Reddit for some time now just looking but this is my first post. I guess I just need to vent to strangers and maybe get some objective advice.
Been with my husband for 10 years, married for nine, we have a daughter, 8yo. Same old story, great love, happy for most of these years. In the last three years we kind of got in a rut, same routine, nothing new or exciting, be we were still doing ok or so I thought. Last December he started acting weird, starting arguments about little things. I tried talking to him, and got nowhere. He talked about divorce. After two weeks of this, he seemed to calm down, and we were back, even better than before because we realized we needed to pay more attention to us as a couple.
Well, mid-january I found out he was having an emotional affair with a coworker of his, that started in ...yes December. He claims it was just emotional, texts and smoke breaks just talking. It broke me, but we decided to try to save the marriage. Now 4 months of a lot of work, worries and blame, İ found out he never stopped the affair. Last Friday I confronted him, he told me in a very cold manner that she brings him peace and joy and that he tried to stop talking to her but he could not.
On Tuesday I filed for divorce. He broke down crying, telling me he now realized that he lost everything for nothing. I almost caved but today I'm glad I did not. Because today he came back from work and told me that he now has seen the truth and yeah, better to get divorced and that I am the one to blame since I filed. Guess who he talked to at work today?
I still love him, but I cannot do this anymore. I still feel guilty, for my daughter, for not fighting harder for him maybe....for losing 10 years. And I am afraid of what is after the divorce. The loneliness, the hurt, everything. Any advice on how to get through this and help my daughter would be appreciated.
Sorry for the long rant, and forgive me for any grammar mistakes. English is not my native language. Also written on my phone, so formatting is probably nonexistent.