I (30F) separated from my husband (34M) back in September. The separation was my idea. A few months later he moved out, and since then we’ve been coparenting our 4 kids while living separately.
A few months ago, I reconnected with someone I’ve known for years honestly someone I think I always loved on some level. We started dating and for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy and understood.
Well, my husband found out. Even though we were separated, we are still legally married, and he absolutely lost it. He called me a cheater, threatened to take the kids from me, threatened to sell the house I’m currently living in, and basically made me feel like I was about to lose everything.
I panicked.
I ended things with the other guy and decided to try again with my husband. Since then, things have honestly been… good. Better than they’ve been in years. He’s apologized for his part in our marriage problems, we’ve been rebuilding our friendship and relationship, and overall things feel healthier.
But here’s where I’m conflicted: I still think about the other man constantly. Part of me wonders if I only went back because I was scared and felt trapped, not because it was truly what I wanted. Another part of me thinks maybe reconnecting with my husband and rebuilding our family is the right thing to do.
So AITA for going back to my husband after all of this? And am I wrong for still wondering about the life I almost chose instead?