u/Accurate-Mousse-7320

Is it a parenting thing or a step parenting thing?

Hi friends.

I was a childless stepmom for several years and (finally!) got divorced. I became a stepmom because I had always wanted children, and I honestly thought being a stepmom was basically trialing parenthood. Hahaha. Anyway, I figured it out and am living my best single life now.

I still feel like I desire kids, but I can’t help but gaslight myself that if I didn’t love being a stepmom I’d hate being a mom. So my question is very specific, but…

To those who have went from being a stepparent without your own to parents, is it better? Different? Are stepparent feelings a valid analysis of whether or not someone would overall enjoy being a parent of their own?

I know logistically it’s very different, but I’m worried my ex’s repeated statements of “If you don’t love this you’d hate being a mom” have internalized a bit in me. I feel like the two are incomparable experiences, and I feel gaslit by previously being told they’re the same.

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