My husband (30) and i (27) live with my husband’s parents (we’re south asian in case you didn’t figure it out). The house’s down payment was done by my FIL and my husband pays the monthly mortgage. It’s a big and expensive house. They don’t bother us too much except my MIL tends to control the kitchen and prefers things her way. I don’t particularly love cooking but when I found she was hovering and never let me do my thing I talked to my husband who indirectly told her to give me space. However, she’s ALWAYS in the living room area, never goes into her room. Even when she had the flu and I had a 2 month old baby, she refused to stay in her room because she needs to see everyone & everything.
I recently heard her talk some shit about me on the baby cam & so did my husband but we decided not to confront because of how we heard it. (I had no business checking the cam, I did it out of habit & she was ranting about me it was about all the money I spend that is her sons & not mine because I placed an order for some expensive clothes & she heard about it. (my husband works, im a SAHM). There was more lies and exaggerations in the story. Anyway, my husband apologised & promised to fix my reputation in front of her.
Now I need to start studying for my exam (it’s very important) & I have the luxury of child care since my baby knows them & doesn’t mind spending the day with them. However the financial & emotional attention my in laws need from my husband gets to me & it’s come to a point where I hate seeing him sit with my MIL and talk or I hate seeing him tell her something before he tells me etc. I yearn for a house that has just me, my husband & baby in it. I may be over reacting im also 3 months post partum. She also has certain personality traits that I don’t want my baby to have like 24/7 gossiping and hating on others, always concerned with what her family is up to etc. my husband also enjoys gossiping with her & I think if he’s away from the environment he might stop.
I asked my husband randomly that I’d like to move out. He said he can’t and it would be foolish for us to leave when his dad takes care of the utility bills and we get free child care & are able to have a life of our own. He also said once I pass my exams, we may have to move for my job and then it won’t look bad because it’ll be mandatory so I should focus on studying and getting down quickly. I feel like every day I spend here I’m going crazy but im such a people’s pleaser that I will feel really guilty if I separate their only child from them.
Am I over reacting? And if yes, how can I get better at handling my thoughts and emotions to focus on my future?
Living with his parents was also something he said he has to do before we got married but I truly didn’t understand it’s another form of polygamy tbh.