How to stop having violent reactions to weed?
(18F) I used to be able to smoke and have a good time, all giggles and with a blurry, wide vision. It was really all fun and games, nothing I did regularly but often enough that I kept an extremely low tolerance. One hit and I would be gone, that's all I needed. Slowly over time, specifically with carts, I noticed a splotchy spot on my neck/collar bones getting red and hot every time I smoked but it never changed the feeling of smoking. I just assumed it was a slight allergic reaction.
One day, after a particularly stressful day, my friend's boyfriend offered me a hit off his bong to help me calm down. The first time, it was fine just incredibly strong. Second time a few days later? I felt an intense and strange change. Everything was warping around me and my brain felt like a frisbee. This was my last normal experience smoking. The third time was genuinely horrible, all it took was one hit and suddenly everything was melting as if I was being sucked into a black hole. I couldn't see straight enough to walk and people had to help me sit down. Eventually, I was sitting on the couch and any shadows within the room felt like they were leaking into my vision, making everything black. I couldn't make anything out around me. My boyfriend was sleeping next to me as I was violently tripping balls, I got so scared I started kicking him and almost crying before running away to go find my friend so she could hold my hand. My heart was pounding, so hard I could feel it. I'm guessing my BPM was resting at around 130.
This experience alone felt as if I were dying. Nothing made sense, my vision was so distorted. Despite all of that, I tried to lie down and go to bed. The last thing I remembered was closing my eyes but it didn't even end there. My boyfriend woke up to me screaming just seconds after closing my eyes. I don't remember screaming, all I remember is falling asleep. That becomes a usual thing when smoking now. To make a point very clear, everyone else who smoked that day had a completely normal experience.
I took a gummy maybe a month or 3 after that incident, everything was fine. No weird trippy bullcrap. That was until I fell asleep, again, it didn't end there. The last thing I remember was lying down against the pillows in my bed and thinking "god, I am so tired. I'm gonna just sleep this off" and falling asleep.
Later my boyfriend told me I had been sitting up, eyes open, repeating words over and over, and apparently, I even punched him in the face. He said I kept saying "What is that?" And "they're in the walls, they're coming". Just very unusual behavior once again. Of course, I profusely apologized but I don't remember any of these things happening.
I've never been the type of person who sleepwalks/talks. I don't know why I'm having this kind of reaction and I want to understand how to fix it because getting weirdly violent in my sleep is not ideal.