Please advice on family trouble
Assalamwualakum,
I am a recently graduated and started working.
I’ve struggled a lot with my journey with Islam, although, I come from a line of hifz and Alima’s. Growing up I always felt Islam was forced on to me which made me to leave. This was mostly my dad’s influence of constantly pressuring me in the way I dress, look, believe and exist.
Over time I found my way back to Islam and I am so grateful to leaving bc that is the very thing that led me back to it. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my family. My elder siblings who are all boys always bullied and outcasted me growing up. I was raised as a boy and struggled to find womanhood as an adult. My dad used to abuse my mom and hit us a lot as kids. Now that I am older, I am considering leaving because although, my dad is a lot less physically abusive, he still is very forceful in many ways and I always have this constant fear living in this house. I am scared to move out because he is my wali and I am not sure how marriage would work but I honestly don’t think it’s healthy to keep him in my life. I love both my parents very much. The heartbreak I feel is in my soul and I am in constant sadness. Please advise on how I should move forward with my life.