AIO for feeling uneasy about my boyfriend moving his ex and child to our city?
I (30F) am dating my boyfriend (40M), who has a 7-year-old daughter with his ex (38F). They currently live in another country, so up until now it hasn’t really affected my day-to-day life.
Recently, he told me he’s thinking about moving them back to the city where we live so he can be closer to his daughter. Logically, I understand why he’d want that, and I do think it’s important for him to be present in her life.
But here’s where I’m struggling. He originally told me their divorce was mutual and that neither of them had feelings for each other anymore. However, I recently noticed a couple of late-night calls from her (around 1am), and from what I’ve seen of the messages (on his side), she clearly still wants him back. She’s said things like she’s sorry, she’s changed, and that she wants them to be a family again.
He has been consistent in telling her no and says he has zero interest in getting back together. His actions and messages do seem to back that up.
Still, I can’t shake this uneasy feeling. His ex has already reacted negatively just knowing I’ve spent time with their daughter, and I’m worried that if they move here, it’s going to create a lot of tension and drama.
I didn’t bring this up in a confrontational way, but I did tell him I feel a bit uncomfortable about the situation. He reassured me, but ultimately said that being close to his daughter is non-negotiable, which I understand.
Now I’m stuck wondering if I’m being unfair or overthinking this, especially since he hasn’t actually done anything wrong and is being transparent.
AIO for feeling this way and being worried about what this could turn into?
Edit: I absolutely love his daughter, and her father of course! I also totally see myself being a stepmom to her … But I’ve heard so many women, especially in my country say that the woman who stands between a man and his “bio family” is always the jerk. Maybe it’s our culture… but I don’t wanna be seen as a homewrecker..