I (gay 31M) met “Joe,” (bisexual 31M) on Tinder about a month and a half ago. He told me he was interested in monogamy, we had great chemistry, went on three dates, and I drove to his house three times before he suddenly decided he wanted to “take things slow.” I had recently gotten out of a relationship, and once he realized how recent it was, he started pulling back, but instead of being direct, he breadcrumbed me. He’d say he wanted to come see my new house, spend the night, introduce our dogs, and make plans, but nothing ever happened. Any time I showed emotion or asked what we were doing, he’d call me sensitive, which is hilarious because he works in HR doing books and accounting but apparently can’t balance his own behavior.
The red flags kept stacking. He told me he had a sugar daddy situation where he sends nudes, which honestly doesn’t shock me, I’m gay and the economy is terrible, send the invoice. But then he skipped one of my shows, even though he bought tickets, because my parents were going to be there. He’s also in a pride band and goes to gay bars constantly, while claiming he doesn’t really consider himself part of the LGBTQ community, which… okay. I had tickets to his pride band concert and was going to drive an hour to support him, after we’d talked about me maybe spending the night, but then he made sure to tell me he wanted to go out afterward “just with his friends.” Mind you, this was after he skipped my show. So I didn’t go, because fuck that.
One weekend after we had messed around, his bestie, him and I went gay bar hopping. He got embarrassingly drunk and started telling complete strangers details about our sex encounters. I was mortified. Later at the club, he bought cocaine and suddenly sobered up, and when I made a snarky comment like, “Feeling better now?” he got sassy with me like I was the problem for noticing the circus he created. More recently there was this whole thing where he acted like he was stepping away from social media and switching to a BlackBerry, like he was entering his Amish influencer era, only to still be online a week later. Big announcement, zero follow-through. Very on brand.
Then tonight, at 4:30 AM on a weekday, he called me. I answered thinking something was wrong, because ya know, when someone calls before sunrise, you assume emergency, car accident, breakdown, demon possession, idk… something useful? Nope lol.
He called to tell me he had just gotten railed by FOUR MEN. I’m not mad he hooked up with people, we weren’t official because he kept everything vague enough to avoid accountability. I’m mad because he called someone he knew had feelings for him, after a month and a half of mixed signals, to deliver a post-orgy press release. I said, “Got it. So friends then,” and he said, “Lol, that’s up to you.”
So now I’m sitting here wondering, do I send one final text and block him, or just block him without explaining because the explanation has basically been screaming in his face for weeks? Because if he comes back later with some “hey stranger” nonsense like none of this happened, I may need a witness and maybe even a jury of homosexuals.