I [20F] am conflicted about my partner [20M] watching porn.
I know this might be absolutely coming from my own insecurities, but I’m struggling with how I feel about my long-term partner of two years watching porn. I can’t help wondering what the difference is between him watching other women in porn and him staring at someone in real life. it feels similar to me.
I stopped watching porn about a year into our relationship because it didn’t feel right for me anymore; I only wanted him. I never really thought about it him watching it. But now that i know he does, it hurts more than I expected. I would rather of not known.
I send him plenty of photos and videos of myself, and we’ve even filmed ourselves together, so I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just use those instead of watching other women.
And pretty much every time I see him we do something sexual (eventually). And I try to do tons of different things like lap dances, blow jobs and buying new lingerie.
I honestly didn’t expect it to affect me this much. Maybe it’s because we’re each other’s firsts? I think I’d feel less bothered if it were something unrealistic like hentai, but when it’s real women, I can’t stop comparing myself. I know I might be overthinking it and that it’s a pretty normal thing, but I still feel this way.
Do you have any advice on how to work through these feelings? Thank you so much.
tl;dr
Looking on advice on how to deal with insecurity stemming from partner watching porn.