idk how to begin really
i cant really remember when this all started but maybe around the end of last year ive been experiencing grandiosity as well as having a "favorite person" (before you come at me ive done my research and know what the term means. the reason why im using it is because i heavily relate to it) though that has been always pretty present in my life but just recently have i realized it. im not the stable-est but i am very high functioning and good at masking which might be the reason why my mom doesnt really care. ive brought up going to a clinical psychologist several times in hopes that i could get diagnosed with something but my mom automatically assumes that if i am not crashing and buring then i dont need one and has been only letting me visit my schools psychologist and since yk, theyre a school psychologist we dont have enough time to discuss everything that i need to discuss. due to this ive been wanting to get worse in any way so people can truly understand what is actually going through my head
now that ive finished typing im not even sure if it makes sense