hi reddit, first of all, English isn't my first language so don't mind if i make any mistakes. i am in a situation where i have to choose between going to visit my long distance bf of 3,5 months (we've been talking everyday during the very first day of 2026) and going interrailling in europe with my girlfriends for a week. i have no idea what to do. I'm afraid it might backfire into my relationship. I'm very anxious rn bc of a lot going on... honestly being a teenage girl in senior year of hs is exhausting. i told my man yesterday that i was afraid I'd loose him or that he will get tired of our relationship since we're in a long distance and since he told me he was feeling a little more neutral (unlike the beginning where everything is more obsession). i hate giving the impression that i am insecure, it's the worst.
UPDATE:
hi reddit;
after a long consideration I decided that I wanted to go with my friends. so yesterday I called him to tell him the news and he took it bad. like bawling his eyes out kind of bad. he asked me if I really think that any of my friends would do the same thing he does for me (taking planes, missing engineering classes). he told me he does anything just to see me for the weekend. for context we've been dating since Christmas and he has come to my city every 3 weeks and I haven't been to his house yet. I get that he's upset and I get that I also have to put effort (which i do, but it doesn't come out as big gestures), but i believe it's unfair to react this way for saying what i want.
the next morning, today I wake up with a voice memo from him apologizing for playing the victim and saying that he would love me no matter what trip I pick. the thing is, seeing him in this state, I had already texted the group chat and cancelled. I was left on read, but at school we talked and they told me that they were sorry for me but I had to pay the part that I was supposed to pay (which I have no problem doing since it's not fair to cancel last minute). and then no one, except for the one im closest with, talked to me for the rest of the day. super awkward honestly i feel like they're mad when this literally doesn't affect them at all. so yeah, ig i was expecting a bit of compassion. i am a loner, so even though we're friends i am not thaaat close to them, specially since this year hasn't been the easiest for me. but still we've been friends for our whole life, it just that we've kinda separated a bit which is totally normal.
i am mad at myself for acting based off an impulse, and i still want to go to the eurotrip, but seeing that I didn't get any comfort from them makes me wonder if i really should.
i also thought that my bf was a bit of a red flag and tbh i don't want to go see him either. like, the eurotrip plan is older than our relationship, and now that is (almost) over, I don't feel like replacing the trip with another trip.
In addition, these last few weeks ive been depressed so this situation doesn't help at all.