I haven’t felt like myself since my mom died and I think it’s affecting my relationship
Ever since my mom died, I feel like something in me changed. I’m way more sensitive emotionally than I used to be. The last time I remember my feelings getting hurt this easily was when I was around 19. Back then, I would go through long depressive episodes over really small things, but I’d also get overly excited about little things too. I had no middle ground emotionally. Things started to balance out after I had my daughter at 21. For years I felt more emotionally stable and grounded. But now I’m 36, living away from home with my two kids, my boyfriend, and his mom, and I feel like I’ve completely regressed emotionally. His mom is extremely passive aggressive, and even little comments from her affect me deeply. I can’t seem to control my emotions anymore. I end up taking it out on my boyfriend, and I know it’s hurting him too. We used to do everything together and genuinely enjoy each other, but now it feels like one or both of us always has an attitude. Our relationship has become a roller coaster. Something that feels important to mention is that his mom moved in with us two weeks before my mom suddenly died. The passive aggressive behavior from her started about two weeks after my mom passed, and I honestly think the combination of grief and tension in the house completely broke something in me emotionally. I know I probably need therapy, but I can’t afford it right now. I just feel overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, and exhausted all the time. I don’t know if this is unresolved grief, depression, burnout, or all of it together. He said, he’s starting to feel like this is the type of relationship he doesn’t want to be in. I need to learn to turn off my emotions. How can I stop caring?