Me (M27) and my girlfriend (F22) have been together for three years. I have always trusted her (I have never had a reason not to) and she has always trusted me.
Now a couple of days ago, my girlfriend was at a party with a bunch of her female friends, a mix of friends, some that are single and some in relationships.
At this party, a friend of my girlfriend brought a few of her old childhood friends. These were three guys. At the party they all started hanging out. My girlfriend, her friends, and these guys. They had a fun time together and were talking and laughing throughout the night. At some point during the night they all agreed to start following each other on instagram. This is nothing wrong in my eyes, not necessarily a good thing, but all OK by me.
Two days after the party, me and girlfriend met. We both use our phones openly in front of each other so when we were on the couch I saw that she had a conversation in Instagram DM with a guy with a name I did not recognize. I asked her about it and she said that it was a guy from the party and that she had sent him some pictures from the party. Still nothing that I think is wrong.
Then another day went by and I was going to google something while sitting at a dinner with my girlfriend and two other couples. My girlfriend was out talking to the other girls and I was sitting around the table with the guys. I couldn’t find my phone and my girlfriend’s phone was sitting right in front of me so I went to use it to google. Then I saw a notification from this same guy, so curiosity got the best of me (not good I know) and I opened the conversation. I didn’t read much, since we were at dinner, but I read the last few messages. It was basically my girlfriend asking the guy for his Snapchat by saying “eyyy Snapchat??”. This is were I started feeling like it no longer was ok and got a bit hurt and angry.
We then came home from dinner and I decided to confront my girlfriend with this. I asked about the guy and she said that it was only a friend and she had no intention of anything else. I asked if I could read their conversation and see for myself and she said ok. My girlfriend was the one who started the conversation. She has started by typing “come over next weekend”. According to my girlfriend, and I believe her, this was sent from her and her friends together, to this guy and his friends together, not my girlfriend specifically asking him. So even if this sounds a bit weird it isn’t my main concern.
I then continued reading the conversation. It was some pictures from the party which matched what she had told me. Then it was a bunch of them having generic conversation, like what they were doing, questions about each other etc with some selfies of themselves sprinkled in (nothing weird or sexual just normal selfies). This is also according to my kind of hurtful since I would never do this with another girl when I have my girlfriend, and I don’t really see the point/need of having this type of conversation with a guy you just met.
I then asked my girlfriend regarding the adding in Snapchat, if they now were snapchatting instead. First she said no, then she opened Snapchat and there was an already opened snap from him. Just when I saw this, she leaned back so that I could no longer see her phone. I tried to scoot over to see again but then she got up out of the couch and walked to the other side of the room, while still using her phone. A couple of seconds later she came back and said that she had deleted everything and blocked him. She then explained that they had sent a few “boring” pictures back and forth. Him of the grill of a barbecue he was at and my girlfriend of the table of the dinner we were at and she begged me to believe her. At this point I was very frustrated and sad and I started questioning her and our relationship. What really made this hard for me was the fact that she hid her phone while (supposedly only) blocking him. That made me feel like there was something there that she didn’t want me to see and deleted. And it makes me hard for me to take her word for what was sent when she just minutes earlier had lied about not even having him on Snapchat.
Sorry for a very long text, hopefully you made it through and got some good context. I’m just wondering, am I overthinking and overreacting? Am I making a too big of a deal of this? What are your thoughts?