u/AccomplishedFail5726

I find that any kind of product that really absorbs is usually irritating. I’m looking for intensely occlusive sunscreens that don’t have a lot of ingredients. Chemical vs. mineral sunscreens don’t seem to make a big difference. Skin seems equally sensitive to titanium dioxide and zinc as it is to octibenzone, etc.

On a good day, my skin can sort of tolerate the vanicream SPF 30 daily moisturizer, CeraVe spf 50, k-beauty birch juice moisturizing SPF 50 stick, super goop, or the LRP cicaplast baume spf 50. It will sting at least a little bit though.

The cicaplast baume and the birch juice moisturizing stick are, so far, the least irritating. They both have a very greasy, occlusive feel on my skin, and I think that probably has something to do with what my skin likes.

By the end of the day, my skin is dry and can barely tolerate the process of washing my sunscreen off even with my super gentle double cleansing routine. I break up my sunscreen using pure mineral oil, and then I follow that with Cerave foaming oil cleanser. I can’t even use any non oil-based cleansers because they all sting terribly and I break out in hives.

Then I just use Vaseline as a moisturizer. At that point, my skin can’t take any actual penetrating ingredients at all.

I don’t use any actives in my skincare routine at all.

On bad days, my skin just stings all day and is super inflamed.

However, on days when I don’t use any sunscreen, my skin is happy as a clam. I can even wash my face with pretty much anything and moisturize with anything without any issue.

But I know how important sunscreen is, and not using it every day is not an option for me.

So I was just friends with M27 for a while before we started hooking up. I asked him out on a date but he turned me down when he learned I was only looking to date seriously. He didn’t want that, we went back to just being friends. Then, a few months later he comes back and says he has a crush on me. I ask him if this means he wants to date seriously and he says he’s looking for something casual. I had previously told him I didn’t want that, and I told him that again.

Then, a few weeks later, I change my mind and we start hooking up. I immediately notice that he’s getting very lovey-dovey, but I start setting boundaries and emotionally distancing myself because he’s continuing to assert that he is not my boyfriend. So I tell him that I’m still going to see other people, and that when I have a new sexual partner I’ll “tell him before we have sex so that he can make informed decisions about his sexual health.” That is exactly how I said it. I didn’t realize at the time that my phrasing was unclear I guess.

What I meant when I said this is that if I have sex with someone else, I will tell M27 I’ve had sex with someone new before I have sex with M27 again so that he knows about potential new STI risks.

I did NOT mean that I was promising to notify M27 before having sex with someone else. I recognize now that the way I phrased it could be interpreted that way.

Anyway, M38 is the highest bidder and he wins dinner and a theater show with me at a charity event. In all honestly, M47 is less of a mutual friend. M47 is my friend who M27 also happens to know. M27 is also at the event. M38 tells me as I’m standing right next to M27 that he’s “looking forward to our date” and because I am a dumbass, when he walks away I ask M27 “wait do you think he means a DATE date?” And M27 says no, he’s joking/being friendly.

Yes, I was THAT dense. I did not know this man was interested in me, I thought he was just being philanthropic and friendly.

Anyway, surprise surprise, it’s a real date. And he takes me home. I am very taken aback by this. M47 is kind of a Tom Selleck-y local legend and I really never thought he’d have eyes for me. I also didn’t think I myself would ever be interested since he’s like twice my age. But he swept me off my feet and I had a really good time.

The following day, I go over to M27’s house and right when I get there, M27 tells me out of the blue that he wants to make it official with me.

This is starting to sound very wattpad

Now, I could sort of tell that’s what he actually wanted, but every time I asked him he said no. So I just assumed he would never actually say it and I wasn’t going to be his girlfriend if he wasn’t going to call me that. Sleeping with someone who we both knew was messy, but we hadn’t made any rules about who we can/can’t sleep with other than each other’s close friends.

After he asks me to be his girlfriend, I tell him I would very much like to do that but first I should tell him that last night I slept with M47. I hadn’t even agreed to tell M27 who my other partners, and I didn’t plan on doing it ever if we were FWBs, but if I was going to be his girlfriend then I thought he ought to know who it was and tell me what steps he needed me to take to distance myself from M47.

He flies into a rage. Never before in my life has anyone who wasn’t my parent been that angry at me before. He accuses me of lying and I’m very confused. He says I promised I’d tell him before I had sex with someone else so that he could emotionally prepare himself, and I’m like “What?” and I just flat out say that never happened.

Eventually, I sort of figure out what the miscommunication is. He thought I would tell him before we (meaning: me and the other person) had sex, but I actually meant I would tell him before WE (meaning M27 and me) had sex.

I cannot believe it all came down to fighting about grammar. I’m sure there are languages where this never would have happened.

I try to explain this to him and he accuses me of lying, gaslighting, and “obeying the letter of the law but not the spirit”. Then he slammed the door in my face and told me never to come back.

Anyway. Things are done now with M27. I also called them off with M47 because I was so shaken by the whole thing I’ve decided not to pursue casual relationships anymore.

There’s nothing I dislike more than buying a whole eyeshadow palette just to only use one or two colors, although I find it’s usually more expensive to buy the exact colors I’m looking for in singles.

I’m willing to spend more money on a palette if I know 90% of it won’t go to waste.