Depressed wife suddenly wants freedom and distance after seeming much closer before discharge
My wife (married 4 years, together 10 years) has been struggling with severe depression for months and I honestly feel completely broken right now.
She was hospitalized for a while and since coming home things have felt more and more distant between us. I tried to support her in every way I could. I told her I would move anywhere with her, support any life decision she wants to make, give her space, reduce pressure, anything.
What makes this especially confusing is that shortly before discharge things actually seemed better between us. During the weekends she was allowed home, she felt much more emotionally accessible and physically close. We even slept together again. She seemed genuinely happy to see me every time. She could barely wait to finally be discharged and often really did not want to go back to the clinic on Sundays.
That is why this sudden emotional distance feels so hard to understand for me.
Yesterday she told me that my presence at home does not feel good for her anymore. She said she wants to feel free, be able to live wherever she wants and do whatever she wants. She even mentioned wanting her own apartment.
At the same time she also says she does not want to hurt me, that she is “not okay,” that she cannot think further than the next few hours and that she feels like she is destroying me. She says she does not want to make promises she cannot keep.
I genuinely cannot tell anymore whether this is depression speaking, emotional overwhelm, loss of feelings, or the actual end of our marriage.
I love her deeply. I would have stayed through all of this. But I am also exhausted beyond words. I spent months trying to be stable, patient and supportive while slowly falling apart myself.
Right now I’m staying with friends because being home became too painful after our conversation. I woke up crying this morning and honestly feel terrified of losing both my wife and the life we built together.
Has anyone experienced something similar where a depressed partner suddenly wanted freedom, distance or separation after seeming much closer shortly before? Did things become clearer with time once the crisis stabilized? Or was this ultimately the beginning of the end?
I know nobody here can tell me the future. I just feel very alone right now.