u/Accomplished-Art-301

I’ll try to keep this short. I (25F) live with my bf (27M) and 2 weeks ago I told him that my step mom and grandma were planning on having mother day brunch today at 11. He said he would be there and that was that. 2 days ago he tells me his dad and brother planned his and his nieces birthday party on Mother’s Day as both of their birthdays are the same week my bfs being tomorrow.

I told him I wouldn’t be going because I promised my step mom and grandma that I would be at brunch and promised my mom and other grandma that I would see them after ahead of time so I was booked. Mother’s Day is something I take seriously.

Well my step mom and grandma on that side made special things for him for brunch and got him a cake and present for his birthday so we could celebrate that as well when we came and I could tell it hurt their feelings when he wasn’t there when I showed up. I know it’s partially on me for not letting them know as soon as I found out. It turned out his family didn’t plan the big Mother’s Day/ birthday party till 3 when he made it seem like it would be an all day thing. I was peeved when I got home at 3 from my step moms and he had just been chilling playing video games the whole time. He happily accepted the cards and gifts my family got him and when I asked him if he would at least say thank you and happy Mother’s Day if I called them later he reluctantly said yeah and acted like it wasn’t a big deal.

Fast forward to after I get home from seeing my mom and grandma on my mom’s side and he makes it a big deal when I bring up calling my step mom and grandma. I blew up on him and told him it was inconsiderate of his family (not him specifically) for planning these major events on Mother’s Day as I love my nieces and him (obviously) and would’ve liked to attend but didn’t want to blow off my moms on MOTHERS DAY. I wish his family made a big deal or even acknowledged my birthday.

He yelled back at me that I was stressing him out and told me he didn’t have a choice and said he couldn’t please everyone when for the last 3 years it’s been somewhat the same. He hasn’t seem my moms on Mother’s Day but I make an effort to see his step mom as that’s the only mom he really has his actual mom is a piece of shit so maybe he just doesn’t get it. I just told him to stay away from me so I could calm down enough to call his step mom for Mother’s Day and he told me if I don’t like him or if I’m going to bring up shit from the last (not seeing my moms the last 3 mothers days) that “the door is right there”. I don’t feel like the asshole but I see his perspective and mostly blame his family for not being considerate of others plans especially ok mothers days. I was told I was over reacting and making it a bigger thing than it should’ve been and that I should’ve cut my visit with my moms short to come to his family’s party but in my eyes there’s just not enough tike in the day.