u/Acceptable_While_205

As per rule i need to accept it that, i still have anxiety. Even after therapy and recovering from lowest i have'nt escaped it. You know why, cause as its not me its my environment. From family to academics, from friend groups to work life, every piece of small stress adds up and fills your head with worries. As long as i am part of this system i don't i am escaping this state. On of my friend that i am working with misunderstood a situation and avioded me for the whole day during a emergency situation yesterday. Another classmate keeps asking me to do his entier lab project.Thats on top of other things like low grade, behind credits and what not. I was away from home yesterday and there was a domestic abuse scenario concering my aunt and uncle. So, many things going on i just can't keep up with this noise.

More or less have been through a grinding period these last several weeks, Now i know why tyler durden called self improvement is just mastrubation, but whatever. Now whenever i get hooked in the grind my mind hyperfocuses on it till its finished properly. Most of the time now its enjoyable sometimes it's anxiety inducing. Finished submitting a research paper, lab projects done and slightly ahead of lab reports. Just extremely tired sometimes and takes a while to wind down. Properly winded down now and just relaxing part of me wants to re-enter the hamster wheel while a part of me just wants to just stay laying down. Mind is holding a S#it ton of work overload residue and impusiles are still there. Part of me regrets wasting the afternoon on social media for stimulation cause of you the obvious. Now winded down feeling better just thinking can i pick up the work again like last time, cause i did good. Or just lay down and enjoy the moment. While back i was playing catch up, now i am picking up the pace while catching my breath. So, improvement is there. Life is already hard and made more hard for us by this thing we have in our head. So, there is no known fixed solution. Just keep trying and finding options and use every available option. Some of us are hesitant to take a few opportunities that help us due to our own belief. I would say re-evaluate them and try any available options that are infront of you if there are not many. Hope your all doing great. I am doing just fine even with a ton of workload, which is a first time. I am hesitant of saying i doing great cause you know the obvious. But never the less, we just might make it Through.

Edit: "just a humor" i will gain more energy and clarity as the post gains more views😅.