Surviving heartbreak
My ex fiance of 6 years is also now my ex fp and its been absolutely devastating. She broke up with me via text because i have MECFS and she was upset i couldn't leave the house to go on dates more often. So far i only self harmed twice in very small amounts but in struggling with the all consuming thoughts of her.
A part of me craves that safety and a part of me wants her dead. There is no middle right now and its absolutely exhausting. I keep trying to stay positive and believe that fate is making room for more better people to come into my life. It is so hard to keep myself distracted enough to be stable.
A lot of this is because she has mental health problems she hasn't been dealing with at all and she hasn't fully communicated anything to me so im left partially in the dark trying to find explanations that don't exist.
I hope i am going onto better things. But i am so scared and hurt i can barely function.