u/Acceptable_Squash198

I feel so ashamed and like the biggest pos. I never thought I would still be in this situation at 32 weeks pregnant and I am so terrified. I have been using Kratom for around 2 years now. I started when I quit drinking and mainly used for mood and energy, but now it’s something else. I am 32 weeks pregnant and have been tapering for about 2 months now. I am down to 3 teaspoons a day, which is less than half what I used to use. I tried to go cold turkey a month ago but only lasted around 20-22ish hours and ended up taking bc the restless legs were so bad and decided it was safest to taper. I am so angry with myself for putting my baby through this and very terrified about her having withdrawals. I plan to be completely done with it by 34 weeks and I do believe I can do it staying on the tapering plan I’m on right now, but I’m wondering if anyone else has experiences of Kratom during pregnancy and what the outcome was? I’ve read some babies have WD and others don’t, but can’t find a whole lot of info about the subject. My husband does not know and I do not want him to. If I quit by 34 weeks, will the baby wean off while I wean off or will there still be a strong possibility of her having withdrawals? I’m not sure how long it can stay in the umbilical chord for or if 6 weeks is giving enough time for baby to wean off while I do. I am also on 50mg of Zoloft so I know there’s possibility for her to have WD from that as well. Scared of cps getting involved or my baby having to be in the nicu and just feeling so awful about all of it. I’m scared. Does anyone have experiences with quitting late in pregnancy and have any insight?