Hi,
tl:dr How often should you see your partner and am I being crazy for asking for more.
I really dont have anyone to talk to about this in my inner circle. I 23(f) have been in a relationship with my partner 23(f) for almost a year and four months. We met in college and have since moved to a big city for work. her and I have had a really great relationship for the most part, but recently I feel like Ive been spiralling. she and I used to see eachother around 4 times a week usually sleeping over twice a week. but in the past few months (since she has gotten her first full time big girl job) it has gotten to be less and less to the point that we see eachother 3-4 times a month and talk on the phone once a week. I would be lying if i didn't say that I probably caused some of that, I have had a lot of anxiety because of the pull back and ive acted out, continuously asking if we are okay, being upset about minor things that bothered me (which i can go into detail about if you would like). recently we gotten into a big fight because of this. I have been feeling really lonely and isolated, and I didnt go about expressing that in the best way (knit-picking specific instances that made me feel like that instead of explaining the overall feeling behind it.) By the time we finally got around to the core of the issue she told me that she is very busy with her job and social life and gives me as much time as she can. and i get that, im proud of her for the job she got and how robust her social life is. but on the same side i hear about new people shes meeting up with all the time and making more and more friends. the more friends shes gotten the less space ive taken up in her life. not to mention during our last big conversation she reinforced the idea that im an "if" in her life she like to put it as "i dont know where im going to be five years from now and I dont like to plan for the future." i feel like a controlling asshole asking for more of her and more time with her. but ive been crying myself to sleep for the past week since the conclusion of our argument. I dont know what to do, I love her so much and she has made my life overwhelmingly better. but i dont know how to stop being sad about feeling this distance.
im seeing her for the first time since the argument tomorrow. im so scared that i wont be able to just be happy and its gunna cause another argument and even more distance.