Is the guide for dating/love unfinished??
Hey! I bought the new Love, Sex and Relationship guide and i am a bit confused. It seems to skim a bunch of the stuff that I actually dont understand and some of it is just... plain wrong? Not based in reality OR my experience (have to be careful with differentiating reality vs experience) For example, in the attraction module 1) It tends to equate charisma with being attractive. Let's purely think of romantic/sexual attraction (in this case i put them in the same bucket). It seems to me that Dr. K misunderstands a bit that general platonic charisma is not the same as sexual/romantic attractiveness, hence not very helpful in dating/sex. Yes, charismatic people can have many good platonic relationships, be respected, be well liked, but again, this does not generally translate into sexual attractiveness. For example, on the contrary - Ive seen mostly men with anti social behavioral patterns have the largest amount of short term relationships, sexual relationships, magnetism etc. Im talking about guys who generally are not pleasant, are now well respected by other men, generally have a hard time making friends etc. What ive seen has been mostly inverse corrolation - youre either the guy who is attractive socially (decent human being, loved by friends etc.) or the guy who is attractive sexually (psychopathic traits, gives a general sense of unpleasantness, danger etc.) The same can be said for how people need safety - again, the guys who have had the most amount of sex have been the most unsafe, unstable people by far. This is not only purely true to men - for example, if you take women with BPD, they are often the most sexually active women out there ("crazy chicks give the best sex bro!") It seems like this guide then skims through the stuff on how to have good, heatlhy romantic relationships, but leaves out the thing that actually generates attraction, which is what most men lack..