u/Acceptable_Bat73

(Repost because it got deleted)

I (26 F) have been sharing a room with my mom, who’s in a hospital bed. I’m her full-time caregiver, and we live with my grandmother in a tiny apartment, so I get very little privacy.

One day I woke up from a really wild dream, and I was extremely aroused, and quickly touched myself under the covers while she was asleep to… you know. It was really fast, and I didn’t make any noise. I did it very secretly with my entire body under the covers, and I was watching her very carefully to make sure she didn’t wake up, but it makes me feel like a creep. It wasn’t anything sexual though; I just wanted to be 100% sure she didn’t wake up. I wasn’t really thinking because I was still kind of half asleep, but I feel absolutely horrible and am spiralling. I always go in the bathroom or living room with curtains to do it. I don’t know why it was different that day.

Does this make me a horrible person? 😭

(Yes, I just posted something similar, but now I’m thinking of other things and have to vent.)

I (26 F) have always had a very comfortable relationship with my mom. I live with her and my grandma, and because we’re all females, we really see no issues in walking around naked, though I do tell my mom not to look when I’m changing. I do try to stay as covered as possible, but sometimes I’m worried she’s judging my body when she does see me freshly out of the shower (she used to encourage me to lose weight as a kid, etc.), and I try to look my best in hopes of her not making fun of me.

I just feel like I’ve been a creep. There have been times where I’ve joked about my pubic hair and have shown her to laugh about it, but haven’t thought that this might be crossing a line. She’s done the same things though, like to joke about how saggy her breasts have gotten and has shown me randomly, and I would scream “EW!” I grew up around stuff like that.

I remember the other week, asking her for her opinion on a botched labiaplasty I had when I was a teenager (she got me the surgery), and she might’ve been hesitant at first to see it because I remember her saying that’s gross and no, but I feel like I might’ve pressured her by saying she’s seen it before, that I’m her daughter, etc., and I’m not trying to be weird, so I asked again, and she agreed. I just wanted her opinion and was a little upset that she’s the one refusing when she put me in the situation to be botched in the first place. I think I pulled my pants down quickly to show her. She made fun of me before for my long labia as a kid, and that’s the entire reason I got the surgery. I also remember crying about how small my boobs are and showing her for reassurance (she wasn’t uncomfortable), but I don’t know. I also remember showing her how big my clitoris is a few times when talking about how uncomfortable it makes me. But I don’t remember asking.

Now that I’m looking back, I don’t know what to think. I asked her, and she said she didn’t feel uncomfortable, but I don’t know. I don’t know what to think about myself or my family or if we’re just really weird. My grandma is way too comfortable with that kind of stuff too.

I feel like the biggest creep in the world…