Please excuse bad formulation.
So I am a 17 year old student. A year ago I have had really really good marks in school, but now they are hardly average.
As I realized this year that what I‘m doing really is pointless, my interest in school shrunk. Now, I only begin to learn for exams the evening before and I procrastinate very much. I also don‘t have a passion or special talent, and I have never really been good at something.
All I do in my free time is eating, watching tv and gaming, I got practically no discipline. I always want to do things the easy way. I tried out many different things like going to the gym and graphic design, however all those activities aren‘t fun for me. It feels like I‘m living the same day for every day.
I also got the feeling that the more time and effort I put into something, the worse the result gets because I failed often when I invested much.
So I am basically looking for a reason to do the things I do. I also don‘t have any goals I want to achieve as I simply don‘t see the point in for example being rich/famous, having a loving family or breaking a world record.
Even when achieving little goals I feel like the effort I had to put into it was way, way higher then the result I got.
Religion is nothing for me, I tried it once but it rather suppresses me instead of granting me a meaning of life. I also tried to be an existentialist but that also doesn‘t work out well.
I‘m glad if you could help me out.
Thanks.