Struggling with self-esteem and career anxiety
Basically post title. I'm 22 and have almost completed my undergrad. Job searching has been tough and my general lack of success for part time roles this year (and a failed application for a grad role) has been getting me down. It sort of sucks more that I'm having shitty luck finding jobs right now because I have worked and volunteered at organisations that I thought were really interesting and gave me a lot of fulfillment, and my comparative failure at that front recently makes me feel like I'm regressing as an individual.
All of this makes me very anxious because in a few weeks the recruitment rounds for the big players in my field are about to start. These anxieties are sort of compounded by my assessment of where I am compared to some of my peers in my degree; I think I sit somewhere in the middle of the pack. I feel like approaching recruitment season with a bruised ego won't be very good for me psychologically or practically. On top of that, I still struggle with whether a life in corporate law is something I really want in the long run, and I'm afraid that in the event that I am successful at netting an opportunity I'll somehow end up trapped. On top of that my field is extremely oversaturated and calling the competition 'fierce' would be putting things lightly.
There was, growing up, and still is, a lot of pressure from my parents to succeed. I know there's the age-old adage that I 'need to live my own life' but being from an immigrant background this is something that's difficult to navigate, not to mention brings about its own slew of challenges. Despite these pressures, they've also been conscious of nurturing my passions and allowing me to explore what I want to do; all under the pretext, of course, that I am to eventually 'succeed'.
A lot of these anxieties I've been able to manage somewhat as uni, work and my social life have kept me busy enough, but unemployment (lol) and my looming graduation have brought these to the surface in a way that I haven't experienced before, like these are really real things that will have an immediate impact on my life. I've been considering going back to therapy again but haven't had the time to ring up an appointment yet. Maybe that'll be what I ought to do next. But am I doing well? Are there answers to what I am feeling? If anyone has gone through what I am experiencing or something similar, how did you navigate these things?
Thanks in advance.