My ex GF wBPD broke up last September after she cheated openly on me for a month. I was so stupid and kept in touch for a few weeks but these time was the most horrible in my life, I was like someone else, late November we tried again(after her new "love of her life" broke up... Yeah he was smarter than me), spended a beautiful weekend together but just shortly after that she broke up for good and cut contact. Ofc she immediately had someone new, ofc the love of her life and completely changed her personality to be his perfect girl, the usual.
Late march we meet to exchange the last stuff, it was horrible. I said she comes alone, ofc she's showd her perfect bf off. Usually I'm very calm and it's nearly impossible to get me lose temper but I totally lost it, I lost control and verbally attacked her, I was never like this and feel horrible. Not because I think she doesn't deserved it, she definitely did, she abused, used, cheated me but because I gave her what she wanted "Look he's the bad guy!"
But since February I felt like I'm over it, even had a date late march but since maybe 2-3 weeks I find myself wishing her to come back. I DON'T WANT HER BACK, but I want her to want me back and the worst part? She's haunting me every single night with nightmares. Do any of you has similar experiences?