We’ve had full custody of my partner’s 3 kids for the last 3 months and it’s been incredibly challenging. We used to have 2 days a week, which worked pretty well. Two young teens and one 8 year old. I have no children of my own and don’t plan to. No idea if their mom will get her act together and be able to have partial custody again.
I’m on the introverted side and having to talk to people 24/7 is exhausting. I can’t leave my bedroom without having to talk to multiple people and it makes me want to hide out up there. The weekends are especially hard and the opposite of relaxing. Both my partner and I work full time and he’s a great dad. This doesn’t change what it feels like to have a household of 5 where there’s so many kids that they outnumber the adults.
I dearly miss my alone time at home with my partner, I miss being able to have a restorative weekend at home after a long week of work. I miss being intimate more often and not always having to think about where the kids are, hearing them in the house, etc. Having 3 kids in the house kills the mood in that way.
I’m upset that we can’t go spend a weekend somewhere together to recharge and connect, like we used to, and we don’t have any family help. I’m worried about my life having to revolve around this situation. Even with my partner shouldering most of the logistics I’m still burned out and don’t have the energy to focus on my own aspirations.
My partner is the love of my life, and my best friend, I’m just feeling incredibly conflicted and needed a space to talk about it. This is not the life I dreamt about building together. If he were anyone else I wouldn’t stay in this situation.