u/AcademicEducator5430

Not sure if this is the right place to rant but I have been feeling so down and like a loser recently. I am usually an upbeat happy go lucky person. I genuinely believe regardless of my IVF outcome I will be fine in life but it is so hard to be stuck in limbo.

I paused my dream of continuing education to pursue IVF. I have not had success yet. My path has been long and difficult and I have nothing to show for it. I don’t think going back to school is realistic anymore with all the costs of IVF. Ever.

I am no longer the super star I was at work. I am just an average employee now.

I started with a normal BMI and my weight is now in the obese range. I know this is not my fault but people around me take a lot of pride in keeping fit and it is a constant conversation point in my circles. The fitter you are the “more discipline” you have. Apparently, being able to inject yourself on time, go to work, and function while on a million hormones is not a marker for discipline. People look down at me now that I gained over 20 lbs.

I don’t know, I am feeling down and I think the only people that get it are in this community. I see everyone else move on in their life. Getting their promotions, going back to school, having their children, etc. and I am just stuck here and it sucks.

The self promoting “mother’s day” posts on social media is not helping either.

We had a horrific experience in our first round of egg retrieval. We were so low and disappointed. We got a second opinion. This RE doctor not only listened to us, but gave us hope. We had much better results with this doctor and clinic and overall the degree of care we received was extraordinary. The nurses went above and beyond, the embryologist called and texted us to give update and patiently addressed our concerns, the doctor was amazing, even the phlebotomist was great. I did not feel any poking! We have two mosaic embryos on ice from this round.

I just got diagnosed with endo. We are thinking of doing a round of IVF with an endo specialist that is a close colleague of our current doctor. I know this is the right move but I don’t know how to approach it. I want our second doctor know how much we appreciate his and the clinic’s efforts. I thought maybe getting them some gifts would be nice.

Any ideas? What would you do to say thank you? We will be going back to this doctor in the future to transfer our mosaics after doing a couple of rounds of retrievals with the endo specialist and getting the endo removed. But I want to get them something nice now. I was thinking maybe something for the doctor and something for the nurses and something for all other staff?

I have unbearable pain in my back and sciatica like pain after doing two egg retrievals. It gets worse when I wear tight clothes or if I do chores. It is now almost two months after my last egg retrieval. So I doubt the pain is inflammation after the procedure only. That should have been resolved by now right?

I had two egg retrievals within 6 months of one another. I recently got diagnosed with endo and my endo doctor warned me that retrievals and hormones can cause flare ups.

But because I have DOR, I need to do more retrievals to hopefully bank embryos. My endo doctor also agrees on this approach. There is no way around it. After I have some banked, we are planning to do an excision surgery, suppression, and then transfer.

Is this pain endo related? Anyone else in excruciating pain after egg retrievals? To be clear I had similar pain occasionally before the retrievals but now it is more intense and more frequent to the degree that I cannot even do simple chores. It comes and goes but on average 4 days a week I have this pain.

My ultrasounds are clear. I am waiting on a follow up with my endo specialist. My ivf doctor says it could be just extra blood in pelvis after retrievals. My family doctor or GP is useless. I don’t know who to go to.