u/Academic-Thought2462

my ex sexually abused, cœrced me into doing something I wasn't comfortable with and raped me. I can't stop blaming myself about it. I learned how to say no at the time, yet couldn't keep my no when they where sulking when I wanted to stop, I didn't fight back when they continued after I said I wanted to stop ( I actually didn't even froze, so I was fully capable of fighting back ).

I didn't knew what was going on when it happened, I know they're at fault, but I still feel so ashamed and also at fault. I'm stuck in this viscious cicle, I even think that I deserve to suffer and to be blamed, ans that not being able to report them is my karma.