I went no-contact with my Dad and his Wife and now my Sister regrets not doing the same
So I (23F) posted a few times before about my Dad and not going to his wedding. After what's happened over these past few months I feel like I dodged a massive bullet. Fake names will be used in the post.
For context my parents got divorced when I was around 12. My Mom (now 51F) discovered my Dad (now 51M) was cheating on her (with multiple women) and there was some other bad stuff that happened so she left him. Well since the divorce he's only had three serious long term relationships all of which my Dad has cheated on.
The first woman was Frankie (30F) who was one of the original women my Dad was having an affair with. How did my Dad meet this woman you may ask? They worked together. She was married and pregnant when they met. Frankie had a 5 year old son at home and gave birth to two kids while my Dad and her were continuing their affair. Her husband thought Frankie was just "helping my Dad out after the divorce," since Frankie was financially supporting my Dad. Well eventually her husband started to catch on since towards the end of the marriage she got pregnant with baby number 4 and he knew the kid wasn't his. Her husband divorced her and asked for a paternity test and turns out that half of the kids are not his. My Dad is the father of two of the kids. Baby number 2 and the baby Frankie was currently pregnant with. After her divorce my Dad decided not to stick around and they broke up before the baby was born.
At the same time my father was also seeing Sharon (40F). They also worked together. Apparently my Dad was going around playing the victim at work. Doing the whole "woe is me my horrible wife left me and took the kids," and she fell for it. My Dad had been living with his mother up until that point so she let him temporarily move in with her. During that time he started telling her how "she was the one. And he feels like they are going to get married." After a few months he also got her pregnant. Then she found out that my Dad was dating Frankie and that she was pregnant too so she decided to dump him. During their break up she demanded that my Dad pay for her abortion.
Two weeks before that break up my Dad started seeing Nicole (26F at the time, she's only 5 years older than me). They ALSO worked together. I guess their relationship was so "intense" that my Dad decided to move in with her only after two weeks of knowing her (probably because Sharon kicked him out). She ended up getting pregnant as well. And apparently she knew about the two weeks overlap with her and Sharon. During her pregnancy she started to have complications and she ended up having a miscarriage.
To sum it up my Dad had three different women pregnant at the same time. I'm honestly surprised that HR didn't blow up. Frankie and Sharon knew about each other, and I think that Nicole only knew about Sharon. These pregnancies only resulted in one child, which Frankie is raising alone. All of them no longer work together. My Dad lost his job for unrelated reasons and the rest of the women quit.
Now Nicole and my Dad got married after 6 months of knowing each other. As per my last post, I decided not to attend the wedding and I eventually ended up going no contact with them. My sister (20F) went to their wedding and still has a relationship with them.
My Sister is my Dad's favorite and she's used to getting gifts or going on shopping sprees with my Dad. Well one day while they were out my Dad kept getting messages and a phone call from a woman and he kept hiding his phone from my Sister. She thought it was strange, but while they were leaving the store my Dad got another message and said he had to leave to, "take care of something." So he left my Sister outside the store with no way to get home. Later that night my Sister got a phone call from Nicole chewing her out saying "how dare you demand your Dad take you to dinner when you know we had a date planned." My sister was super confused because my Dad had left hours ago and she did not go to dinner with him. She thinks my Dad might be cheating on Nicole, but she doesn't have proof.
Months went by and my Dad stopped spending money on my Sister quite as much. My Dad had been unemployed for more than 2 years and has not gotten a new job since then. His wife is the sole provider. My Dad is super bad with money and honestly his wife seems to spend way above her means. My sister says one of the bedrooms in their house is dedicated solely to her designer clothes. Some of her purses are over thousands of dollars. Honestly I don't care what people spend their money on, but my Sister says they keep getting into explosive shouting matches when she's there over money.
Over the past few months my Sister has slowly stopped seeing my Dad very much. The shopping trips stopped, which my Sister was fine with so she suggested they do things together that don't cost money like go to the park. My sister also offered to pay for them to go to eat or go get coffee. Nicole keeps saying that they're busy and that they would need to reschedule. But it's been several months and my Sister hasn't seen my Dad in person. She's been calling him and everytime they get on a call Nicole is listening and interrupts their conversations. Nicole also personally attacks my Sister and my Mom every chance she gets saying things like my Sister “wasn't raised right” and “I can see where she gets her bitchy attitude from.”
Finally this all came to a head when Nicole let my sister know that she thinks that she needs "a break for my sister's toxic behavior." Nicole also told her that she would be taking my Sister off her health insurance. Nicole has really good health insurance coverage and can have up to 7 people on her plan and have it cost only 50 bucks a month. She only has 3 people on it so basically it costs nothing to have my Sister on the plan. My Dad is legally responsible for my Sister's health insurance, but they don't care and plan to kick her off it by the end of the month.
While this is going on my Sister was at home scrolling through tik tok. Then she comes across Nicole's page. My sister is curious so she obviously takes a look at some of the stuff she's posted. Nicole is apparently wanting to become an influencer. She makes videos about her clothes and a bunch of other things. That's all fine, but my Sister watches a few of her more recent videos and realizes it's all about parenting. Nicole is actively making videos and posting content about being a parent to a teenager (my sister). There's also videos with her insulting my Mom and talking about how to deal with “hostile co-parenting.” There are several things wrong with this 1) Nicole has only been married to my Dad for a year 2) she did not help raise my Sister and has never acted like a mom 3) my Sister is an ADULT and has been since before they got married 4) my mom has had sole custody of us the whole time there is no “co-parenting.”
I understand that step-parents can have a role in their step-kids lives. But being a step-mom to a 5 year old is much different than being a step-mom to a 20 year old. She has never acted like a parent towards me or my sister. She acts like I don't exist and treats my Sister poorly and then has the audacity to try to profit off of her "step-daughter" and my Mom for content.
Now after everything has happened I think my Sister is finally starting to realize why I choose not to have a relationship with them. She actually told me, “I wish I cut them off too.” My Sister has been getting on my nerves recently because she keeps saying how, “she never saw this coming” and she “can't believe that Dad would do this to her.” I reminded her that “Dad's always been an asshole. You do remember that he had three women pregnant at the same time.” But she keeps glossing over my comments talking about how awful it is for her.
My Sister is not perfect and we've had a lot of strain in our relationship caused by my Sister's relationship with my Dad. I feel angry on her behalf, but I also feel like I've warned her about my Dad's behavior and she refused to believe me. She also has tried to push or guilt me into talking to my Dad in the past. Even though she knew that Dad fully screwed me out of college money that he was legally obligated to pay. Not to mention he tried to apply to loans and open credit cards listing me as a co-signer. I know she's really upset right now, but a part of me just wants to say "I told you so." Not sure what to do at this point so any advice is appreciated.