u/AbsolutelyAnonymized

I (18 male) was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and celiac disease almost exactly three years ago. My puberty was late and I had very little development until getting my treatments, and only then got a proper voice change and growth spurt. I grew 10 cm after my diagnosis, but I've gained little to no height in the last year, so I'm afraid the catch-up has already happened.

I still have these problems:

• underdeveloped jaw, lack of masculine facial features. I look too young and not masculine at all, even though I got rid of my bloating and puffy face after medication.
• No visible Adam's apple despite nowadays having a normal male voice
• Low libido
• Infrequent morning erections
• Low natural muscle mass (although I have had ok progress from weightlifting, but still many men have more muscle mass without any training)
• Very little facial hair growth and also no chest or stomach hair whatsoever
• Narrow shoulders and overall not feeling much like an adult male.

I take 175µg of levothyroxin. I don't think I experience any direct consequences of hypothyroidism anymore (like the fatigue or bloating). My most recent labs from January: Free T4: 23 pmol/L, TSH: 2.8 mIU/L. I've never had my testosterone checked but I guess it must be quite low.

When I got my diagnosis, my bone age was measured to be a couple years younger than my chronological age. Can my problems still be fixed with time and am I still somewhat mid-puberty despite having stopped growing? Should I or could I do something? I think my puberty has been very mild in every way: for example I've had the least acne out of everyone I know and I had way too little teenage angst. My 16-year-old brother is of course ~15 cm taller than me, although fortunately I'm now only one standard deviation below the norm in my country (I used to be -2σ in my age group).

Has any one of you had their puberty clearly delayed by hypothyroidism? Did things continue to develop after 18?

Also, is it worth getting my testosterone checked, or is that a bit of a stretch? I have no idea whether doctors would even consider any kind of hormonal treatment, or if that's only for more severe cases.

If my issue is just a "ruined" puberty caused by chronic diseases, is there anything that can actually be done or is it too late?

I (M18) have very little experience with dating. That's also probably why this post is so long.

Last July I met a very cute girl at a classical music masterclass. Even though the masterclass lasted for a week, we only talked in the afterparty, where we spent the whole night together, drinking, having fun, and making out.

She was clearly interested in me and wanted my contacts etc. We started talking afterwards on Snapchat. I never asked her out back then, because I was pessimistic and thought that our distance would be too long for dating while we still were at school, even if it's not that long at all (1 hour by train to the nearest big city, but the distance between our homes is quite a lot longer of course). I was also very unsure and confused as I thought she was significantly better looking than I am and I couldn't believe she liked me.

We stayed in contact. Last winter she said she was coming to my city and we could meet, we didn't, but I asked her out myself in January, she agreed and wanted to come here.

1st date: went fine even though I was nervous.

There was a long gap between dates 1 and 2. I asked her out again only after our final exams. There was a 2 month period of silence, she still agreed to meet me again.

2nd date was really good, lots of good discussion, she laughed at every stupid joke I made, we held hands, she asked me about the future

3rd date was still nice, some repetitive discussion, I kissed her but just briefly as a goodbye...

She was the one to ask me out on our 4th date. We didn't have a good plan at all this time and there was more silence than usual. We had one intimate moment on a bench. She told how she was cold and wanted to feel if my hands were warmer. I couldn't kiss her but she obviously wanted me to. I was maybe not fully in the moment. We sat there for a long while, tried to find a place to go inside, which was problematic as for some reason everything was either closed or fully booked. The logistics were quite horrible this time. We eventually found a place but she told me she wanted to leave soon. She chose a train to go but we left too late and we had to run a little bit to catch it.

I tried to kiss her right before the train left as a final attempt but she sort of dodgedor maybe she was going for a hug before I leaned to kiss her. I ended up accidentally kissing her cheek and we hugged instead. At this point I knew that this was most likely over. I realized that she was feeling a bit down before leaving. The date only lasted for 2,5 hours.

Right after the train left she sent me chats and told that she was so sorry she had to hurry and that she didn't look at the clock and that she had a very nice time.

She didn't open my snap for over a whole day and then sent me a snap with a lot of text at midnight (translated):

so I wanted to tell you that I had honestly a very fun time with you and you are lovely but I am used to seeing my partner every day so even if we just have an hour between our cities I know that this would be very heavy for me to maintain

Really please don't understand this the wrong way because it was very lovely to get to know each other and I wanted to give this a chance but when I think realistically myself I know that this is not going to work for me and I don't wan't to waste your time. I hope you understand and that we can still be acquaintances.

The text was not written in English but the last word was more distant than "friends", which I actually thought was nice of her.

I sent her this:

I also used to think, the time we met, that our distance would be too long for a relationship. So I understand. But it's a shame that you decided this way because I liked you very much. It was nice to get to know you anyways ❤️

She waited for 2 full days to answer. She sent me a heart reaction.

I think that the distance can be a real factor, because she is an ambitious musician and she definitely wouldn't have the time (or money) to see me that often. But her claim that she would have to see me "every day" was a bit absurd to me.

I can be sure that she was much into me in the past and even in the first half of our last date. I'm afraid that my lack of escalation especially on our last date was a big turn off for her, and maybe getting to know me this slowly would be a waste of time combined with the distance. But maybe the lack of escalation is a huge problem mostly among slightly older people, I don't know.

I think the failed moment at the bench was a turning point. But she also seemed to be making a difficult decision. She told me that she goes to sleep at 11 PM every day but she waited until midnight to send me the message.

At least I learned from this one for the future and I'm happy that I was so direct in my message. I am also going to do my mandatory military service in a couple months but she didn't mention that as a reason not to see me anymore.

Can the distance be a real reason, or is it (mostly) an excuse? Did my lack of physical escalation kill her attraction? Was my response to her message appropriate, or did it come across as too emotional or contradictory? Is there any realistic chance of reconnecting in the future, given how things ended? I assume most cases where people come back and want another chance are from more dramatic and impulsive endings and not from situations like this one. You could also argue that I already had more than one chance.