Mother in law issues
Y’all, I need a little advice.
So, I have a stepson. At first, my man wasn’t really taking care of him much because the baby mama lied about some things in the beginning, and I think he honestly just never expected to have a kid. Even with all of that, though, he still tried to take care of him the best he could.
My mother-in-law has always stepped in a lot, and once I started helping raise him too — bathing him, cooking for him, cleaning up after him, getting him dressed, teaching him things, and actually trying to give him structure — I felt like I had a right to step in as a parent figure. The baby mama doesn’t care, so I never understood why it became such a huge issue. But my mother-in-law would constantly run her mouth about me, and she did the same thing to the dad too, so it wasn’t only directed at me.
I honestly think she hated that I was helping him grow up and become more independent because she doesn’t want her kids leaving the nest. She’s threatened me before, talked horribly about me, and put me through a lot. We’re okay now, but I’ll never fully forget the way she treated me.
Now, getting to the point: this child can be very difficult behavior-wise. He hits, slaps, headbutts, yells in people’s faces, takes things, and can be rough with smaller children, including my niece who is almost two. I’m not saying he’s a bad child overall, but he absolutely struggles with behavior and boundaries in certain situations.
Anyways, my wedding is in a few months, and he’s the ring bearer. I’ve already decided that during the ceremony and reception, he’ll be sitting with my mom instead of his grandma because I genuinely think things will go smoother that way.
How do I tell my mother-in-law this in a firm but respectful way without making it sound like I’m saying she can’t handle him? I just know the day will go better with the arrangement we chose.