u/AbleGuava6260

I’m 26F and my fiance is 28M. We’re born and raised in Texas - parents have known each other for years and my fiance and I were reintroduced as adults, fell in love, and are planning our wedding now!

The wedding will be held in my hometown, but his parents moved away years ago and don’t keep in touch with many people from our town. Since my parents are still here, they’ve been taking lead for the majority of planning. His parents want to be part of decisions, but they think we can plan last minute (we can’t..) so they’re avoiding making any actual decisions. For example, my parents have asked if we all want to plan an engagement Pooja 6 months ago. His parents kept saying they haven’t thought through it, and now my parents are saying “we want one so we will plan but let us know if you have thoughts”

Anyway, I had a feeling that there was some beef going on with the parents. I did a bad thing (I will fully admit) and went through my fiances texts with his mom. She is belittling my own mom, calling her a narcissist, calling her a “my way or the highway” type of woman. My fiance is trying to keep peace and stand up for my mom while also trying to avoid shutting his own mom down. I don’t blame my fiance for not standing up for my own mom more, or for not telling me about this - his role here is tough.

Now that I know this information, I can’t shake it. My parents may seem pushy since they are direct, but they usually leave room for other opinions and can easily be persuaded. His mom just isn’t speaking up directly and instead complains to my fiance, when she has every opportunity and right to speak up (and think about an engagement after 6 months of questions??)

How do I approach this conversation with my fiance? With my own parents?

I had a very odd experience today at my 3MPO and wanted to see if anyone has any advice here...

I got a reduction in January and only went down by one cup size - from a 34H to a 34G. I brought this up with my surgeon today and here was the conversation (roughly paraphrased, but nothing made up):

"I know we can't guarantee cup sizes, but I started as an H and now I'm a G, just one cup size down. We discussed being a C or a D, what happened?"

"You know you're not actually a G, right? There are support bras and comfort bras, you could be a G in a bra that's comfortable but you'd likely be something smaller in a bra that's supportive"

*me having no idea what that means but standing up for myself* "I've tried many bras in different cup styles from different stores and I spill out of a DDD. Regardless, I'm still having to purchase clothes 1-2 sizes up because my chest is too tight in anything that fits the rest of me"

Surgeon: "Well, to me, you'd be about a D if I were to compare you to the spectrum of women out there"

saclajalfje that's not how cup sizes work!?? it's a very numerical, quantitative, formula with little room for subjectivity. You can't mark me a D just because I have broad shoulders and they 'look' like a D compared to others. My measurements are clearly a G and I cannot find sports bras, bralettes, or regular bras that fit.

Anyway, after I stood up for myself for the fourth time and cried a little, he finally gave in and brought up a revision. I don't even know if I should go with him anymore or find a new surgeon and pay a higher price. super disappointed and wish we could openly talk about surgeons because I would NOT have chosen him had I known.