u/Able-Temperature-661

I (17F) cannot deal with men any longer. For multiple years as a child, I was repeatedly SA‘d by my cousin every chance he got. It started when I was 6 and he was 15, and by the time he stopped I was 9 and he was 18. I have been through it with CPS and police, but they are both useless and have only made it worse. I have been going to therapy for five years now, working through my trauma, but it has done nothing to get rid of my hatred and disgust. Every time a man opens his mouth, I can’t help the feeling of anger I get. They are all the same: disgusting, ignorant, the plague of the earth. When men look at me, my skin crawls and I want to disappear. Every woman has a story of SA or harassment, and males are the problem. Men start wars, they rape, they murder, they are scum and cannot be trusted. I cannot tell the people around me about my feelings, especially considering that I have a boyfriend whom I love more than anything, but I will always be scared that maybe he’ll decide he wants to hurt me, and I won’t be able to do anything about it.
I don’t want to be so hateful. I’ve tried to see the good in them, but even the best man will always remind me what they are.