Genuine question for this community: what was life like for you *before* anxiety took hold? I'm talking about the small things — sleeping without dread, making plans without a pit in your stomach, just existing without the noise. Do you remember that feeling? And do you think about it often? No right or wrong answers, just curious how others look back on it.
Title: Need advice: family pressure, past trauma, and wanting space
Hi everyone,
I’m dealing with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and a condition called middle ear myoclonus. When I was 13, I was sent to university early in a third world country and experienced severe emotional and physical bullying. I told my parents at the time, but I was told to stay and endure it. That period left me with long-term unresolved emotional issues.
About 16 years later, something recently triggered those memories again and my insomnia came back. Since then, I’ve been struggling a lot more, and I also started smoking, which only made things worse.
Now my family is pressuring me to come back home and stay for a while. I feel overwhelmed and conflicted. Part of me wants to completely distance myself from them and be on my own for a while, living life on my own terms, even if that doesn’t fix everything immediately.
I feel like my choices are either to fully cut contact or to follow their expectations completely, and I don’t know what the right path is.
TL;DR: I was bullied at 13 when I was sent to university early, but I only started developing anxiety, depression, and insomnia about 16 years later after those memories got triggered again. Smoking made things worse. Now my family wants me to come home, but I feel torn between cutting contact and living independently or following their wishes. I’m not sure what’s best for me right now.
Mostly invested in SP500, Nasdaq 100 and TSX 60 ETFs. Moved to Canada 4 years ago. Dollar cost average with every paycheck.