u/AbaloneSpecialist606

Maybe having better parents would have helped. They set me up to fail. I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve this. Must have been terrible.

I'm my own worst enemy. Every chance I've had, I've fucked it up, sometimes willingly. I know I'm mentally ill and I'm sure that's been a lot of it but damn. My life is broken and I'm old now. Looking like I'll retire in poverty. I've been given chances, often they're a choice between more or less shitty options. Still shitty either way. Still somehow I choose the shittiest one. I am insane. I've never been right in this world the most I've learned is how to let go of things, people, potentials. I have so little, but even that gets taken away. I was fucked from the start.

I hope you're happy and healthy and doing well. I hope you get to see and know all the things you've wanted. I keep you in my thoughts.

Like Sisyphus, I've resolved to imagine you happy. To do this with all those I miss. I wish you joy.

I miss you F. It's so rough out there and I wish I could help somehow. But I know you want to learn your lessons your way. I understand that. Maybe it's better this way. I love you.