AIO about my current job situation?
Well, I feel mentally and physically wrong every day when I sit at my work space. I'm 25 and have only worked for nine months since graduating college. I have very little work experience, so maybe I'm wrong about my current feelings. I work as business development. In my department, there are only four people, and we do overseas trading. There is one marketing manager, one Amazon operator, and my department leader in my team. I love my team, and everyone is very nice, even the department leader. It all sounds nice, right?
But the thing is, as a BD, I have fewer things to do. We are a relatively small and new brand, so we are not well known in this area. Now, our company leader wants to restart the overseas department in another city, which is far away. I heard the news that she wants to build her own oversea team. Our team is being marginalized. She actually told our department leader that she thinks paying us salaries is doing us a favor out of charity. Ironically, she knows nothing about overseas business. She won't give us more opportunities. I wasn't even able to attend the trading fair. I'm a little mad about this. She wants me to find more distributors or other distribution channels, but she won't let us attend related fairs or exhibits. What am I supposed to do? I use LinkedIn to find potential customers, but it's just like an employee's Instagram. It's not working at all. I was so frustrated. Besides the BD job, I also got some work from our marketing manager, but it only cost me a little time. I write the official blog every week and operate other social communities. THAT DOESN'T TAKE THAT MUCH TIME.
Therefore, I thought that my team doesn't actually need me. I have a very strong feeling about this. Plus, when I know my salary is higher than the Amazon operator. I felt even more guilty. What I do every week is write a blog that nobody reads, operate an inactive community, and contact a small number of distributors. Maybe I'm just bad at my job. But I swear that I pay 100% attention and put 100% effort into everything I do for work.
Other than those things I mentioned above, I don't have much else to do. I asked my department leader if there was anything I could help with. He told me to find the marketing manager. I asked the marketing manager, and she told me to ask the department leader. So, what? It's just a circle. That's why I feel like I'm wasting my life in this position at this company.
I don't really know what to do. I suddenly don't have any goals. I used to be a very good college student who balanced life and studies well, but now I feel bad, lonely, and guilty. I feel like nothing about myself is right.