Inconsistency in concern for a given relationship
This is a thing that I have noticed for most of my life (born in 2008). So often times I am able to pretty much end relationships with no care depending on the reasons. If I lose interest, move, or they go against something I tell them not to do, I can easily move on from the relationship, and may even initiate the break up, though often times I just go with the motions before the relationship inevitably fades into nothingness. From what I can tell, this is a common experience Schizoids go through. However in certain situations, it becomes a pretty big mess for me mentally. The most recent example is my friend.
A couple of months ago, she randomly ghosted me. Now I have been ghosted before by a good lump of people in general, so initially this didn’t affect me at all. But eventually it did confuse me as this ghosting in particular, was kinda weird. For one she hasn’t ever ghosted me before, we were purely platonic, and we had just been on an ~3 hour call the day before that was only interrupted by her dad.
Naturally, I first thought that her dad didn’t want me to speak to her anymore, which still confused me as she came for my graduation a couple months back from this incident and her dad had been the one to drive her there, but oh well, maybe it was so. Either way, long story short, there was a whole thing that she was going through and I happened to be caught in the crossfire. That isn’t really important.
For the first half of the two weeks it lasted, my mental state was a mess, i couldn’t focus during lectures and it kept weighing on my mind, mainly because this wasn’t the first time a situation like that had happened and a part of my mind was blaming myself and another part was theorizing what happened and why me of all people was “targeted”.
Eventually She called and the whole thing came to an end. I almost immediately stopped caring. I soon stopped communicating regularly (which was usually a message or something a week), and she hardly even crossed my mind for weeks at a time.
Sorry for the yapping but I was partly wondering if anyone ever had random bouts like this, where for a brief timespan, you care more (compared to how your normal threshold) about a relationship, whether it be due to a possible end to it or some other reason? And if so, do you know what motivated you to act like that? I believe for this instance, what motivated my concern was almost entirely curiosity but maybe it might have been different for you.