Things moved way too fast with a girl I just started talking to. Did I overreact by ending it?
I (M25) had to end it with a girl (F24) after things moved way too fast, and now she hates me. I'm just trying to see if there's anything I did at any point that essentially makes my decision a bad one.
We’d been casually interacting online for a while, mostly replying to each others statuses and exchanging the occasional “hey.” I’d compliment her photos here and there. Nothing serious.
Last week we finally had our first real phone call and talked for almost 4 hours. It felt natural, there was chemistry, everything was going good. During the call we both discovrred we’d kind of had secret crushes on each other.
The next day she called again and at some point brought up the topic of relationships. I said something about moving too fast and how toxic that could be... and she appeared to take it badly, ending the call abruptly. I tried reaching her for hours and the next morning she told me she was upset because me wanting to "take things slow" meant I didn’t like her enough. Her logic was basically “when you know, you know.” This is day 2 of talking by the way.
She then quickly diverted the conversation before i could even respond to clarify what i meant, by telling me that she saved my contact as “babe, loml” and said I should change hers too because she was serious about me. I didn’t want to upset her further after just having had an argument, so I said I did (when I actually didn’t).
That’s where things started getting intense.
The next day she began calling almost every hour, texting constantly about missing me, asking where I was and who I was with... even after i continously told her how busy my day was. She then went through my social media following and started questioning me about the girls I follow. On top of that she was nolonger calling me by my name... it was “babe,” “the love of her life” etc, and saying she loved me, several times during the day. It kinda extinguished the little attraction I had for her in the beginning. Such back to back nonstop clingy behavior has always been a turn off for me. Especially this early into things.
This all happened in the space of 3 days, but it was enough to overwhelm me. I’m already an anxious person and I’m dealing with work stress and important exams coming up, so the whole situation started feeling suffocating. I’ve also been in a relationship like this before and it turned really toxic, so the red flags were loud.
I called her and explained that this wasn’t my style and that I prefer to take things slow and build something properly. I told her I was interested in her, but the pace wasn’t healthy. It wasn't a rejection, it was more of a "let's take it slow and give this the proper chance it deserves"
Her reaction honestly shocked me. She broke down crying, started yelling at me, blaming me for making her "fall for me" and leading her on. She was firing all sorts of insults at me when I stood my ground and decided not to change my mind about my decision. Eventually she asked me to delete her number and said she’d do the same to mine.
So I respected her request and ended it there.
Now she hates me and keeps posting on her socials about "men leading her on", "how she's always getting hurt when all she has to give is love". So yeah, essentially blaming me completely for how she's feeling right now but honestly, the peace that came afterward was worth it.
I know if I stuck around longer I might’ve taken her back out of pity, and that wouldn’t have been good for either of us. I consider myself a highly empathetic person (something I'm currently working on), and this was not an easy decision to make. But I'm learning to put myself first. I also believe that even though she can't see it, it's probably best for her too. I was initially willing to give it a chance with proper pacing, but her reaction let me know all I needed to know and how inevitable the tragic ending would be.
Also, just to add on: we’ve never met in person, and she claims to be deeply in love with me based on three photos of mine and only a few days of talking. Am I wrong for finding that strange, or do some relationships actually start out that way and survive?
So yeah, was i wrong for going about it this way?
I'd also like to hear about similar experiences from you, if any. How did you handle it?