Hung up
I'm relatively new to posting stuff so I apologise in advance if I make a mistake in the formatting/lingo.
I (M 19) matched with a guy (20) on hinge. We started talking and found out that we had a lot of similarities. We asked about each other's dating goal and both agreed on taking our time to get to know anyone before dating.
Fast forward to a few days, I decided to ask for his instagram. We talked there and I used to send him reels and initiate almost every conversation. He was living alone in an apartment and hence had a hectic schedule as he had to manage everything by himself. One day, I suggested that we talk on a call. He agreed and it was fun. We talked for about 4 hours and discussed a lot of things. One thing to keep in mind is that when we started talking about our past relationships, he was extremely dodgy and told me close to nothing. I didn't want to pry and said it's okay if he doesn't want to tell me about it. We also listened to music together and I saw the music he suggested had lyrics/meaning relating to past heartbreaks and being manipulated.
Then we exchanged numbers and started talking a bit more but I was the one initiating all the conversations. He used to reply as per his convenience but I didn't mind because it had not been that long since we started talking and we decided to take it slow plus he lived alone so I let it go.
The day before yesterday we were on a call for 5 hours. As usual, I asked him for a call and he agreed. It was fun. We played games, sang songs and he even shared some media from his childhood which he considered private. We also decided a game to play the next day. Cut to the next day, he didnt respond to my texts which was normal because he used to be active/reply to my messages directly at night. I ask him how his day and he says it's terrible because he saw his ex's reel on Instagram. I ask him if he's not blocked his ex to which he said he has but his ex posted it from another account.
I asked him if he wanted to talk about it to which he said no. I said that's fine but he might feel better after getting stuff off of his chest. Then he went on about how that one reel had so much effect on him that he started rethinking his past decisions and all he has done so far. And how he feels so lost and tired after the breakup. I told him that it's going to be better with time and that I am here if he ever wants to talk someone about this. He then went on about how he never wants to date and he feels ashamed that he's been wasting my time to which I said I didn't mind talking to him because I enjoyed it. I asked him if he enjoyed talking to me the previous night to which he said No except for a few conversations that we had.
This, I feel, was a reaction to him being shocked looking at his ex because I don't think anyone would talk to someone for 5 consecutive hours, sing songs, play games, make plans and share their personal media if they didn't enjoy the call.
I then assure him that I know we aren't dating but I do not mind talking to him about this or lending an ear and told him that I enjoy the calls and getting to know him. He replied to that by - I do not want to get to know you for now. And no you cannot help me out of this but I appreciate the efforts. I appreciate you putting your time and talking to me.
I replied to that with an Okay. This felt very weird to me. Just a few hours ago we were talking about even meeting in real life (I proposed the plan) and just one reel made all the conversations, calls and plans disappear. I'm not really sad or disappointed but confused and am not able to make sense of the situation. Should I have not asked him to open up about his ex or did I do right? My friends say there's a high chance he'll text me sometime in the future because they saw our texts and I told them about our calls and they agreed that he seemed interested and just happy in general.
Also I forgot to mention that on the day we talked for 5 hours on the call, he initiated the conversation and he said he's getting better at reaching out and then I said I was glad and asked if he wanted to call. I might have missed a few things in between so feel free to ask me anything you'd like about this situation and I'm curious as to what others think about this scenario.
TLDR - A guy who seemed interested in talking to me changed his mind about our plans after he saw a reel posted by his ex which his ex posted from a different account which the guy hasn't blocked.