u/ARandomWalkInSpace

Got my PET scan, and while some of my lymphoma died the fiery death it so richly deserves, some of it set up for the long haul and actually grew.

And I'm weirdly, not in despair. I assumed I would be as I was thinking of possible outcomes and my reaction to them but I'm surprisingly just tired and annoyed. Annoyed that I need more treatment, annoyed that I didn't purge myself of this menace especially after my last few chemo rounds were so rough.

But I am blessed, my oncologist is exceptional and I have access to CAR-T and even third round treatments should I need them.

I am not sure what the point of all this is except to say, I am still fighting.

I really don't want to do any more treatment. Really really really don't.

I know this is a day by day sort of thing. I know I need to be brave. I know I've come too far to give up now.

I know a lot of things, but I FEEL scared of the uncertainty.

Friends with celebration PETs or back to the drawing board PETs both...how'd you deal with the feeling just going into it?