I guess I'm what you'd call a "lapsed catholic" my family has been involved in the church for decades long before me but the religion feels more like a ghost haunting me more than anything positive.
I am a gay trans man, I'm in a same sex relationship as well, with a man who also happens to be trans. No matter how you twist it, I can't get married in the church, nor "affirmed" in most Catholic spaces. On top of that, it's very clear to me there is next to no one involved in Catholicism near me in the position I'm currently in and still practicing the faith. I hold a ton of resentment, anger, and betrayal. I just need to talk about the encounters that got me here.
Any sort of pain I express in the lack of acceptance of my queerness is met with a complete and utter lack of empathy, instead I'm asked if I'm "thinking straight" or making "informed decisions." Of course by straight people who are praised for their little families.
I've had people tell me I need to become accustomed to a lack of "affirmation" in reference to my trans identity. To be frank, I'm already there, I've been threatened with violence, the whole nine yards. Why would I willingly subject myself to people who hate me? The implication seems to be I'm an entitled toddler or something for not want to be in the presence of a bigot more than I have to be.
I watched someone say that the one gay person I knew who was purposefully celibate was most likely to become a saint, I guess I'm a dirty sinner for loving my partner.
This is a sensitive topic and in no way a means to invalidate other queer folk, it's just, really upsetting to hear bisexual Catholics say they're "just going to date the opposite sex because it's easier." I always get chided by queer Catholic folk, who, in one way or another, either have the ability to get married or choose to essentially "not transition/ not act on their gay urges." Or they tend to not be visibly queer and cannot relate to the experiences I have in my queerness. I don't think it's a mistake I've predominantly encountered this type of queer person in the Church.
I have felt like dirt on the shoes of Catholics, queer or otherwise. I'd rather go to hell than worship some bigoted God who's word is communicated by men who largely live an affluent lifestyle.