I need advice for co-parenting with my abusive ex-husband
Hey everyone. My divorce was finalized last week and I am so glad to be officially done with my ex-husband. I have full custody of our son, 21 months old, and my ex-husband gets him every other weekend and a few holidays each year. He never showed up to court, always thought he had the upper hand (even though I was the one who left, I had a lawyer and he didn't), and was actually trying to get me back when I told him the divorce was final and he should be getting the papers in his email or in the mail.
In our papers, we have it written that each parent should have reasonable access to the child by phone until 9pm each night. My ex texts me every morning asking how our son slept. He wants to FaceTime every other night but he just stares at our son and watches him do whatever. My ex doesn't engage with him and the calls are at least 30 minutes. My ex typically eats supper when we call and almost always has chips or something loud and crunchy. It's incredibly overstimulating and seeing him not interact or care about our son, I get so aggravated.
When I pick up our son after my ex's weekend, he always cries and puts on a big show but never was really involved with our son before I left at the beginning of the year. He also hasn't paid any child support yet, even though i've been asking for a little bit of help since we left. It doesn't help that my ex mother-in-law paints me as the villain even through it was her son who was abusive in every way towards me. My ex MIL can't even be in the same room as me because she's "afraid to be alone with me" even though her son is the one who abuses her too.
Has anyone been in a similar situation or have advice for how to tolerate your ex, especially when things are still fresh? TIA