Hi everyone! TL;dr at bottom if you really don't want to read this longish post.
I'm in a 3 year LDR and trying to figure out what to do about my cats when I leave this summer. I have 2, an 8-year-old former outdoor cat and a 12-year-old always indoor cat I've had since kittenhood. Last year I lost my other 13-year-old kitty to cancer and have been feeling concerned about leaving the other two for such a long time. Over winter break, I left for 3 weeks, came home for 2 weeks, then left again for another 3 weeks before coming back for spring semester (college). They have 3 automated litter boxes, separate automated feeders, a water fountain, and 2 large gravity water feeders, so they have everything they needed physically. And my neighbors come by every 1-2 days to pet them and check everything is working properly and change out the litter as needed. Plus, I have 3 pet cameras with video calling screens (the cats seem to have no interest in interacting with me through video lol).
Still, all of this wasn't enough and I wasn't able to fully enjoy my time away, missing and worrying about the kitties. Neither is showing any sign of illness, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I had a 3-year-old kitty, seemingly completely healthy, go to sleep one night and just not wake up. I was devastated and it makes me a bit paranoid with the other kitties. Plus, they both have official ESA status and were huge factors in me making it through some major depression in the past.
So, the problem: I'm mildly allergic to cats and take a prescription medicine each morning. However, my boyfriend is a little more allergic to them than I am. When he visits me here, he usually takes 2 different medicines every day and still has the occasional symptoms. He and I have already discussed pets and the fact that the cats and I are a package deal just like his (future) dog and him will be. We plan to move in together when I finish my BA here and can transfer to his state full-time to work on my PhD. But until then, I visit during school breaks for weeks at a time. I honestly don't want to leave my cats alone for another summer and pet-sitters when the neighbors are also away for part of the summer plus flying back and forth in chunks gets expensive. I really want to take the cats with me this time and just spend the whole summer there.
I just don't know exactly how to ask my boyfriend. He's already mentioned before that when I move in, we'll have to pay a pet deposit and pet rent for each cat. Even having a pet in the apartment short-term still requires this unless we want to try and sneak them, which not likely as it's ground floor with big windows and a sliding glass door they are definitely going to love sitting at in full view of the leasing office. We'd also have to get litter boxes and such for his place. I don't think he'd be keen on the idea at all and wants to put off the cats being at his place as long as absolutely possible, but I was honestly so anxious last winter, constantly checking the cameras and missing them. I can't imagine doing that again for more than double the time. With purchasing necessary items, the cost of flying them, and paying pet deposit/rent, the cost of leaving them vs bringing them is about the same money-wise.
I love my boyfriend and he's amazing, always spoiling me and constantly checking in with me on how I'm feeling and what I want. We've even discussed when we want to start a family. I don't want to be selfish and force him to deal with the cat allergies before he really has to, but I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy myself and that resentment might start building up on my side for having to leave them. Any advice?
TL;dr
Visiting my LDR partner who is allergic to cats and would need to take meds to be around them for summer break and don't want to leave my cats home alone for months because it has a negative effect on my mental health. How should I ask my bf if I can bring them with or should I figure something else out (and what, if so)?
Edit to add: Good news! My anxiety was misplaced. The moment I suggested it, he was pretty onboard even before I explained anything. Kitties will be coming to spend time with their future step-daddy : )