u/ADivaHasDistractions

I have been feeling lonely. My ex (28M) and I (26F) broke up almost a year ago, we had been engaged for a few months, a dream of mine wanting to get married and have kids. Turns out he didn’t wanted the same thing, plus I know a few days later he was in bed with another. I know I am better now without him, and this is the longest I have been single, however it’s so lonely, even with my friends making me company, it feels lonely at night or during long days when I don’t have anyone to speak with.
I have tried apps to date and I hate the beginning (flirting), I feel like I can’t be myself.
On top of everything, quite a few people I know got engaged in the mean time. Although I am happy for them,I feel like I am being left behind and I will never find someone. Why is it so hard? Why do I feel lonely? But at the same time I just want to be alone?