I’ve been seeing someone for 10 months soon. I am a single mom, he has no kids and is unsure if he wants them. We initially met up to just have sex and be friends with benefits. Already after a couple of times seeing each other, he asked if we could be exclusive and not have sex with other people. I tried to hold back, but couldn’t deny my feelings for him. He also developed feelings. I have talked to him multiple times about how I can find it difficult that we both like each other, are exclusive, behave like bf/gf (we go out to eat, he invited me to meet his friends etc.), but I still can’t feel sure, since we don’t know about the future, since we initially wanted different things. (I have kids, he’s undecided if he wants kids, but wants to focus on a healthy relationship). He comforts me, reassures me, but without promising the future. He says that we are more girlfriend/boyfriend than not, that he’s sure he wants me, and that we know which direction we are moving, but that our situation is complicated and he doesn’t want to rush such a big decision (since being with me would mean him potentially not having kids of his own). He has said multiple times that I mean a lot to him, he’s happy I’m in his life, I’m amazing, wonderful, calls me babe, baby etc.
He invited me out for Valentine’s Day and gave me flowers. He invited me out for my birthday and gave me a present. He brings snacks for me and says we should leave some for my girls. He lends us his car, when we need it, since I don’t have one. He’s understanding if the kids cry at night, and I have to prioritize them over him (of course). He asked if he should go grocery shopping and bring them to me, when I was at home with my daughter who had chicken pox.
Overall he seems like a really good guy, who just wants to do things right. He originally didn’t want to go into a relationship with kids again (he tried one before), but ended up catching feelings for me.
He said at the beginning that he has one friend who’s a girl, but other than that he doesn’t believe it really works when you have friends of the opposite sex. One day when we were watching reels on his phone, a snap popped up from a girl. I asked about it. He said it was just someone from the gym. He opened the snap to show me, and it was a full body mirror selfie. He said that he could see that it could look suspicious, but that it really wasn’t anything, it was just an acquaintance, and that if there was any interest from either side, he would not be snapping with her. After that he stopped snapping with her, and told me so. He didn’t get defensive at all, just explained, understood and comforted me.
Now yesterday I saw he had opened a snap from another girl. I haven’t asked him, since I don’t want to seem “too much”, but I also don’t understand why he is snapping with another girl again? If we’re exclusive and he also doesn’t believe in opposite sex friendships? Then what’s the motivation? Is my thought process. I just saw he opened a snap from her, so realistically I don’t know if it was just one random snap from her or if they are actively snapping. Since I haven’t asked, and don’t know if I should.
What a rant.
What do you think of my whole situation? If you followed along until the end 😂