u/AC302026

I am from cash poor wealth rich family, my dad is a farmer and owns some 20 acres of land that my family depends on. My sister is a doctor; she completed her MBBS from pvt college and MD from govt. My dad fully paid for her MBBS and at that time he sold one acre of land to cover her medical education fees and with the remaining money he built our house.

Now my sister is getting married through an arranged marriage setup to a cardiologist. My dad wants to have a very big wedding even though we cannot really afford it. He wants to sell another piece of land for the wedding because the total expenses are expected to cross 1.4 crore( with around 80 lakh from our side and 60 lakh from groom, ours is more because of more gold).

My future BIL's family is wealthy, so my dad wants to match their spending so people won’t say he arranged a cheap wedding. He says that since dowry isn't in our culture, we can atleast do a grand wedding. I really dislike this idea, selling an asset just to celebrate a two-day event is absurd. We still depend on farming and only a small portion of our remaining land is highly valuable, the rest is not worth as much but my dad is not listening, I am tired of explaining him and he blames me that I am more worried about my inheritance than my sister's wedding. What to do ?

I am in 4th sem rn and yet I don't have linkedin account, mostly because I don't have anything to show there and I haven't done anything till now, also I am too embarassed about my college and overall with myself, seeing other's linkedin gives me huge huge anxiety that my friends and cousins are doing so well in life and here I am wasting oxygen on earth.

I will be preparing for GATE and will create linkedin during my mtech so since job search isn't the moto now, can I avoid linkedin for now ?

Tbh I also feel dumb that I haven't created linkedin yet meanwhile my friends are posting about competitions and hackathons

Hey I have back in m1 and BEEE and sem 4th is the last chance to give it. I am preparing for it and I have 1 month for the exam but I have heard that csvtu gives no marks or gives very less marks even if you have written the paper well ? I am afraid that they will fail me and I will get a year back , please reply if anyone cleared back in last chance

Hey I have back in m1 and BEEE and sem 4th is the last chance to give it. I am preparing for it and I have 1 month for the exam but I have heard that csvtu gives no marks or gives very less marks even if you have written the paper well ? I am afraid that they will fail me and I will get a year back , please reply

So this happened a few days ago and I am still thinking about it, A girl in my class got 21 gifts from her boyfriend on her 21st birthday. Total worth was around 28-30k, I think. We’re all 20-21 years old and none of us earn yet and they started dating 2.5 months back only.

Some girls were discussing how loving her boyfriend was for giving her so many gifts. The girl and boy weren’t present there, I was part of the conversation and I just said that girls shouldn’t accept very expensive gifts from their boyfriends, especially when the guy doesn’t even earn yet. Small dates or thoughtful gifts are still fine, but accepting 21 gifts is just extreme.

My reasoning was that

1. later there can be pressure to match the same effort or money spent.

2. Also if they break up in future the guy will leave no chance to use that against her, call her a gold digger or keep boasting about how much he spent on her.

3. And God forbid if he turns out controlling or abusive in the future, he may start seeing those gifts as some kind of pass to cross boundaries or feel entitled to something in return.

The group didn’t take it well. Some called me a party pooper and said everyone has their own choices. A few said I’m only saying this because I don’t have a boyfriend and that I’d do the same if I did 🤡. One girl called me a pick me because she thought I was implying the girl was a gold digger ( I was not ) I was just giving my perspective

Was I really the k to say that ?

Edit - since people are saying that they could be from rich families, so no they are from middle class families, the girl has taken admission via drcc which is a scholarship for students from Bihar

Also the guy is from my school 😭 he was infamous there for such things. He love bombed my school friend, gave gifts and then later called her gold digger in front of everyone when she left him bcz of his bad behaviour towards others

Two months ago I decided to go sugar-free. I completely cut out added sugar apart from fruits and dry fruits in limited amounts. I also stopped tea and coffee. Honestly things were going really well. My skin improved, inflammation reduced and my brain fog got much better too.

But then I started going too hard on myself because I was struggling to focus on studies, so I quit all my social media (Reddit, Pinterest, Substack, and Aeon) I turned my phone, laptop, and YouTube to black-and-white mode. I stopped eating junk food and even stopped listening to music because I wanted to focus only on exercise and studies which I was lacking in badly.

Then I had a really bad relapse. My aunt brought a lot of sweets home recently and even though I hadn’t been eating sugar for months, I suddenly started eating a lot of sweets over the last two days. The dopamine hit from sugar felt so intense that I kept consuming more and now it feels hard to stop again.

Still, I managed to control it today and ate only one sweet, but man, it’s tough. It feels like I ruined all the progress I made in those two months in just two days.

Two months ago I decided to go sugar-free. I completely cut out added sugar apart from fruits and dry fruits in limited amounts. I also stopped tea and coffee. Honestly things were going really well. My skin improved, inflammation reduced and my brain fog got much better too.

But then I started going too hard on myself because I was struggling to focus on studies. I quit all my social media (Reddit, Pinterest, Substack, and Aeon) I turned my phone, laptop, and YouTube to black-and-white mode. I stopped eating junk food and even stopped listening to music because I wanted to focus only on exercise and studies which I was lacking in badly. (I have ADHD symptoms so I wanted to get dopamine from exercise and study only otherwise other dopamine inducing activity distracts me and I cannot focus on studies and my weight loss)

Then I had a really bad relapse. My aunt brought a lot of sweets home recently and even though I hadn’t been eating sugar for months, I suddenly started eating a lot of sweets over the last two days. The dopamine hit from sugar felt so intense that I kept consuming more and now it feels hard to stop again.

Still, I managed to control it today and ate only one sweet, but man, it’s tough. It feels like I ruined all the progress I made in those two months in just two days.

I was recently asked out by my male best friend. We had been close for about a year and although our conversations weren’t explicitly about dating I noticed he had been hinting at it and eventually, he asked me out.

Tbh I really really liked him, he is attractive, nice and we used to get along well but my avoidant as f mind made me think it was just infatuation and I ended up rejecting him. Now he’s dating someone else and we’re no longer in contact.

Amm also I noticed that he was misogynist may be ? Like once I talked about my relative and friend's mom who went through a divorce, his instant question was how much alimony they got and that irked me how instead of understanding their plight the only thing he asked was about alimony.

Also, he is single child of his parents so his mom does everything for him and coddles him so much, he very comfortably asked me what are the things I can cook at home but when I asked him the same question back he was visibly uncomfortable, bcz he doesn't lift a finger at home.

His views were misogynist tbh and he was very insecure if someone performs better than him in acads or college, so many time I let that aside because on the other areas we were pretty compatible and he was good person to hang out.

These were the reasons I rejected him bcz I felt he is not the right one for me , but now I'm regretting my decision a lot, I wish I had given it a chance, but our differences made it difficult for me to fully consider a relationship with him. Maybe I’m being too superficial and being too much.

It makes me wonder how many people would actually date their best friend and whether others also regret rejecting someone they were once so close to.

I come from a small town in Chhattisgarh. My dad is a farmer and owns a good amount of land some of which is quite valuable. Since I only have a sister and no brother, it’s known that we will inherit everything.

But instead of seeing this as normal, people constantly frame it as something we should be grateful for.(Ik I am grateful for generational wealth but that's not the narrative here). They even say how “lucky” we are to not have a brother, as if our entitlement to our own dad’s property is some kind of bonus.

At the same time, those same people advise my father to sell his land and “enjoy life” because after all, he only has daughters and saving and building wealth is only considered necessary when you have a son, but optional when you have daughters.

I hate when they say once we get married everything wili “go to another family,” Some even go as far as saying that girls without brothers are more desirable for marriage as boys' parents look for those rishtas because of the property they bring with them and basically they are the cash cows.

A son is seen as someone worth investing in, while a daughter is seen as someone temporary.

Thankfully, my dad doesn’t think this way. He is most feminist man Ik and set a good standard, he always supports us, and never makes us feel lesser. But hearing these opinions repeatedly makes it hard to ignore how deeply rooted this bias still is.

I come from a small town in Chhattisgarh. My dad is a farmer and owns a good amount of land some of which is quite valuable. Since I only have a sister and no brother, it’s known that we will inherit everything.

But instead of seeing this as normal, people constantly frame it as something we should be grateful for.(Ik I am grateful for generational wealth but that's not the narrative here). They even say how “lucky” we are to not have a brother, as if our entitlement to our own dad’s property is some kind of bonus.

Also those same people advise my father to sell his land and “enjoy life” because after all, he only has daughters and saving and building wealth is only considered necessary when you have a son, but optional when you have daughters.

I hate when they say once we get married everything wili “go to another family,” Some even go as far as saying that girls without brothers are more desirable for marriage as boys' parents look for those rishtas because of the property they bring with them

A son is seen as someone worth investing in, while a daughter is seen as someone temporary.

Thankfully, my dad doesn’t think this way. He is most feminist man Ik and set a good standard, he always supports us, and never makes us feel lesser. But hearing these opinions repeatedly makes it hard to ignore how deeply rooted this bias still is and surprisingly these things come from very educated relatives who themselves come from liberal families