My therapist has blurred boundaries in the past, but not in any overt or reportable way. She has never done anything inappropriate. And I have been trying not to think too deeply about this, but I keep thinking about past sessions and wondering if some things were okay or not.
Before I share this, I want to say that I love going to see my therapist and I want to continue working with her. She has helped me a lot and is my main source of support, and we get along well.
So here's the things I keep thinking about. She has previously blurred boundaries with small gifts and meeting with me outside of the normal session. These things were partially related to therapy, because I struggle with receiving gifts and she wanted to demonstrate that it is safe. She has always been careful with her words and actions so that I can feel safe around her and learn to trust her, because that is also a big struggle of mine. So in the therapeutic sense, it almost makes sense to buy me a coffee, celebrate my birthday, celebrate big moments... that sort of thing. It's slightly unethical, but still falls within the bounds of creating a therapeutic environment for the benefit of the client.
I don't want to be too specific, but my therapist has said some odd things here and there. She will mention the topic of sex and remind me that I told her I'm a lesbian (I am deeply uncomfortable with that topic). She disapproves of my partner, which she has met because he's joined me for sessions a few times. She has suggested in the past that I leave him. She once said that I'm cute. The only context for this is that I was talking about a situation that made me uncomfortable, and she thinks a guy was flirting with me. She explained that I'm friendly and cute, so it's reasonable to think he was flirting. She has also told me (many times) that I need to trust her, because again, I really struggle with trusting people and feeling safe with them. She emphasizes the need to trust her and reminds me that her office is safe.
So with that said, I don't know if I'm overthinking all of this or if something is off here. Is saying "You're cute" okay? Or openly expressing how she feels about my partner? Sometimes I just don't know what to think. She also made me a coffee and offered to put more whipped cream in it, and I said no thank you, but she stood up to take it from me anyway. I had to insist that the coffee was good how it was. At this point, I'm so confused about the direction of therapy and how this will help me. I appreciate it and I enjoy talking to her, but still. What do you think about this?