u/9by7seconds

My husband and I are greatly considering Arkansas as the state we will be moving to. Before starting to narrow it down as to specific where, we're trying to gauge his career opportunities since he will be the only one working . He is finishing up his Bachelors and cybersecurity and has 5 years of IT experience. I've tried over in the IT forums and its the general "everywhere sucks".🥲 so, im hoping to get an idea directly from those in Arkansas.

I've done therapy over the course of 9 years for various reasons. But this specific issue I am on year four with . I've had five different therapists over that time. The first one did not feel like they were capable of helping me due to their lack of experience. I went through CBT after that . I went through​ emdr. And then the last two therapists I was with just weren't really touching base on the issue and we're searching for everything but the problem I presented to them.

The issue is Essentially I wish one individual would just be gone from the face of this Earth and my life would be better. They did not directly do anything to me but their existence literally complicates my life and my joy. If I got into detail I probably would not have enough Karma points to post anywhere . Part of its anger that is not acted out on because I'm no contact with the individual. Part of it is this regret or resentment because I could be so much further and be doing so much better in life. I've already been to therapy with the middle individual that is involved with the scenario and we have worked through most of everything. We plan on continuing therapy after this little move in our life happens since we will need to find a different therapist when we are settled in our new state.

I'm not really sure What to ask for with my behavioral health specialist- now or after the move- As what I need to do next . I have the tools. I bought the cbt book the therapist used. Ive spent years talking. But that feeling doesnt go away. I understand it better ​, but because this individual is alive the feeling remains.

What are some honest recommendations? Maybe books?

My father in law was to have surgery to have part of the area of cancer cells removed on Tuesday. My job, 2 months ago, told me to put in fmla for this. Come Tuesday, they backed out halfway into surgery due to major scar tissue damage of one of the organs they planned to go through.

I called my boss and let him know of this. He said he'd cancel the fmla and to take the week off- he'd see me back Monday. I told him I'd need pto. I have 5 full weeks saved. My father in law wont be released til Monday, and will still need 2-3 weeks of bedrest. My husband's job refused his pto, and is refusing to allow him more than his 1 remote day a week. My boss is refusing my pto.

Im unsure how to handle this. Neither of us can magically get new jobs, and we have bills to pay. Im distraught as it is over the fact we were all hoping a handful of the area where the cancer cells were would be removed prior to his treatments. This is hard on our whole family.

What do we do? Im at a loss. My husband cannot emotionally take another hit, so im trying to help where I can.