Florida continues to lead the nation in crimes that sound made up!
Authorities say a Florida man hid in bushes near a bachelorette pool party at an Airbnb and watched the guests until somebody noticed the shrubbery breathing.
Police arrested 36-year-old Noel Roblero-Mazariegos on charges related to voyeurism and exposure.
Florida Man allegedly led troopers on a high-speed motorcycle chase while dressed like a rejected mall Easter mascot.
Honestly, the bunny helmet may have been the most responsible decision made all night.
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Florida troopers say a motorcyclist wearing a bunny helmet led deputies on a chase through Pasco and Hernando counties at speeds topping 120 MPH before eventually stopping and being arrested.
Continuing with my GTA inspired posts:
Florida Man pulled a machete over a scooter dispute in Lehigh Acres, proving once again that in Florida even Razor scooters can escalate into a side quest from Grand Theft Auto.
Woman says she wouldn’t hand over the scooter until she figured out who actually owned it. Reasonable response.
Florida Man’s response: unsheathe machete.
Deputies arrived to find him ditching the blade nearby and carrying a crack pipe like it was part of the starter kit.
Some states have mediation. Florida has “Manny.”
A Florida man survived FOUR heart attacks, emergency bypass surgery, and Dispatcher Directed CPR from his son.
Meanwhile most Florida men won’t survive being told the thermostat moved two degrees.
Honestly the biggest miracle here is that nobody on scene suggested coconut water or horse dewormer.
While some people collect seashells at the beach, this guy collects probable cause affidavits, giving strong “Grand Theft Auto: Vice Beach” energy. Too bad every side quest in this Florida Man’s life unlocks another felony.
Police say a Surfside Florida Man allegedly responded to “those chairs are for residents” by getting naked, grabbing a power drill, and threatening people on the beach in some bizarre"Stand Your Sand" strategy.
Authorities say this Florida Man was previously arrested for allegedly trying to steal a Jet Ski while naked.
2026: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/man-strips-naked-brandishes-drill-37103694
I escaped Florida over decades and built a respectable career, first in emergency services and then in tech.
Then, like any good Florida Man and through a series of deeply questionable life decisions, I returned... to both emergency services, and to Florida
Now I’m heading into public safety as a 911 dispatchers for a large county, where I fully expect my first week to include at least one 911 call about an intoxicated man attempting to baptize an alligator in a retention pond behind a Dollar General.
Sooooo looking forward to contributing to this subreddit...
Nearly 30 years after leaving emergency services for the internet and tech world, life has somehow managed to circle all the way back around.
I started in emergency services back in the day, then escaped into tech during version 0.97 of the internet and spent the next couple decades building systems, automations, and digital operations. And yet somehow… public safety pulled me back in anyway.
Just got hired by a large county here in Florida and I’ll be stepping back into the emergency services world as a PST.
Apparently the emergency services is less of a career and more of a permanent neurological condition.
Now I’m trying to figure out what to guy for a shift bag. I need something durable, organized, and large enough for long shifts that can suddenly become “well, I guess we live in the EOC now” during hurricanes, major incidents, or whatever new Florida side quest appears next week.
Preferably something not too large and that doesn’t look like I’m deploying overseas on invading small-country between radio calls.
What’s everybody using these days?