I was talking to this guy for a year (we started “talking”January of 2025), we were friends before but crossed that friendship line, a few months in (April of 2025) I took a step back and asked for space because I genuinely didn’t know what I wanted out of this and if we would even work as more than friends. We didn’t talk for 3 days and then when I tried to have a conversation with him it got swept under the rug. But I liked him, as a friend and maybe more. We continued talking and building something.
July of 2025 he went on a trip with a group of friends (girls I have never heard of before were there too) didn’t mention anything about to me, and in multiple of the conversations we had we talked about communication and overall that whole month was a hard month for us and what we were trying to build. He apologized we worked over it.
A couple more months later communication was still a huge struggle. More months pass and the confusion was only getting worse as he was showing more things I didn’t want in a person I was going to seriously date. At this point we still didn’t put a title on it. Which I didn’t mind, we’re young and in college. I obviously wasn’t too sure if a relationship is what I wanted as well so we just continued vibing.
In December we were arguing a lot more, he would not communicate properly and then apologize and then do the same thing over again it felt like a draining cycle. Every time I would bring up trying to have a more serious conversation about it he would always apologize and say he’ll work on it and how much he likes me, but I wasn’t seeing any changes.
At this point I came to the realization that maybe this wasn’t meant to be, and he wasn’t capable of having a conversation where I’m able to fully express myself without feeling bad for him. In the end of January I decided it was time and I cut it off, I didn’t say anything to him I just removed him off all my platforms. He texted me my name twice after that, I didn’t respond and he didn’t say anything else after that. With that being said, I tried having that conversation so many times, it would get flipped, or I would feel guilty and stay. So I did the hard thing but did what I thought was best for me. I missed him but I stood strong.
2 weeks later I ran into him at a coffee shop, he looked at me and neither of us acknowledged each other. After seeing him, I felt so guilty. I missed him. Seeing him and realizing that I couldn’t just go up and say hi to a person who’s been in my life for 5 years hurt.
End of February was his birthday so I texted him. I contemplated doing it but to be honest, I was prepared for whatever the response was going to be.
I said “happy birthday. i know i disappeared and that wasn’t fair. if you ever wanna talk, i’m not avoiding it anymore. i hope you have a good day.” Now I fully understand that might have been a selfish move on my part knowing I chose to break no contact on his birthday. He did not respond. And to be honest it felt good, and If anything at least he knows
there’s no hate on my end.
Now beginning of April rolls around, I go to my friend’s birthday party, I walk in and he’s there. Whole night he’s just walking around talking to people but I kept catching him glancing at me. I let it be, if he wanted to approach me, he could so I let it be.
The following week was MY sister’s wedding, I want to make this clear. He was not invited by either families. Even when we were talking, I never sent him the invitation or told him he could come. One of his closest friends is a family friend and was invited. I’m standing by the back talking to my uncle and I look over and he walks in. I’m shocked? Another one of his friends who’s our mutual friend was invited by the grooms family, walks up to me and says “why are you acting brand new”. Me and this friend haven’t talked since I broke it off with him. We talk for a little and then he says “I think you guys need to talk I heard whats been going on and I think it’s childish” I mentioned I reached out to him on his birthday and he said he heard about it.” i laughed and said time and place and this is not the place. I told him there was no love lost on my end and the conversation ended. As the night went on I’m dancing with my sister and family and I can see him just looking. I brushed it off because this night was not about him. He knew it was my sister’s wedding. Like why would you show up?
It’s been 2 weeks since then and here we are now. I have so many feelings, im struggling even putting them in words. I wake up sometimes feeling like hes weird and doesn’t deserve my energy and to just let the chapter close, and other days I wake up missing him and our friendship. I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t make it easier knowing I run into him often.